“I, Donny T, am coming out today to pardon myself for everything I have ever done, which is nothing, and totally all Hillary and Obama’s fault because they are mean terrible people who bigly tarnished my reputation, but I am not going to own it and am totally innocent.”

Somewhat famously, Nixon posed this question to his legal staff (I think Solicitor General’s office?), and the memo came back that, yes, Nixon could pardon himself. He then decided not to because, as much as Nixon flouted the rule of law, he still had some semblance of respect for it. Some small iota.

Under the US Constitution, the President has the power to grant pardons for federal criminal offenses, and not in cases of impeachment (as noted in article above). The governors of each state have the authority to grant pardons for state crimes (pursuant to their state constitutions, and I am not entirely sure but I…

I don’t know. I can’t stop looking at DAT ASS long enough to figure it out!

What does Data 55 mean? ;)

Congrats on your COTD, emilminty. Here is your gift of this Lotus which this lady will deliver after she drives it until some parts fall off.

Congratulations, Mr. emilminty, on COTD! I would like to gift you with a Lotus which this lovely lady will deliver when she makes sure no parts are going to fall off.

♪ ♫ If I had a million dollars, well I would buy you a K-Car. A nice Reliant automobile ♫ ♬ 

That face looks like Mater after a week-long meth and coke bender.

Oh Florida.

Ah yes. He’s mad that trucks are parked in front of his property. The logical action is to render them immobile.

It was done before that.

Are you tired of cleaning your race car windshield the old way?

wrong turn in albuquerque

Actually, it looks like he’s keeping up with the trooper fairly well, so I assume he’s not hogging (although probably speeding.)

I’m curious what this cop thought he was going to do when he got to the scene of the street race.

It sounds like you’re from the old “protect and serve” school. Those days are gone, old man. Now it’s all about insurgency suppression and risk mitigation! Get with the times!

Public safety should be number one. Chasing some clown bc he doesn’t pull over for you not a good enough reason to pursue. Fuck this cop glad his dumbass resigned.

“This is what happens when boys grow up watching Fast and the Furious movies and playing Tony Hawk.”