I can understand not knowing what the oil can symbol is, but this is pretty straightforward:

In the early 2000s, my mom had a new-ish RAV-4 and took it to the Toyota Dealer for basic service. As part of their “top off all fluids” process, they put power steering fluid in her brake reservoir. A few miles later, a rotor seized at about 20mph and she skidded off the road in a residential area. Car got towed back…

Make sure it’s engine oil you’re adding.

the owner needs a bus pass.

A thing I don’t like as a customer:

Yes.

“as she puts her panties where they belong”

Congratulations, Mr. Honesty, on COTD! I would like to gift you with a McLaren which this lovely lady will deliver as soon as she puts her panties where they belong in the first place.

Total CP.

Unless you have some sort of allergy, if you’re THAT picky about your food you should probably just eat at home. Although I grant you, I have never been able to get a Subway employee to understand “just a little mayo”. I like mayo, I just don’t need a gallon of it on my sub.

I loathed the folks that would throw or shove their method of payment at me. One guy threw his card and it bounced off the counter to the side of the register.

I actually became a little disconcerted when I was regular enough at a local Taco Bell for the cashier to not only remember my customary order but also the name I always give for the order (“Batman”)

Eat at a restaurant? Are you dense? That would never work!

I’m always amazed by what people think they can get away with without getting their ass kicked by everyone else in line. Maybe if we actually started kicking their asses?

A friend’s parents gave me this tip when I was a kid, along with “if a server upsets you, dump your tip into a glass of water, then invert the glass while firmly holding a menu over it. Put the glass face down on the table and carefully slide the menu out so the water doesn’t make a mess.”

Never underestimate the power of sadistic shitheels to find ways to belittle people for their own disgusting amusement. May their afterlife be a constant outing at a restaurant where the food is slow, nobody gets their order right, and when they complain, the Devil shocks them in the privates with 50,000 volts.

As to…

Ugh. Had a first date try to do this once. I saw the pile of ones come out and asked if it was for that purpose. He said yes let them earn it (it wasn’t a very big pile...). I tipped the waitress and bartender for my drink generously and walked out. No fucking way am I going to be a part of that and it’s a giant…

Oh, my god, I was in line at Chipotle the other week, and the staff exercised considerable patience in not murdering the woman in front of me.

Putting your cash tip on the table and visibly docking it every time the server displeases you