When I was a kid, I thought getting a “boob job” meant that you were hired to work as a lifeguard on Baywatch. (Thanks, Pamela!) So my 7-year-old, no-chill self would run around telling anyone that would listen that I couldn’t wait to grow up and get a boob job.

...or it was the store policy not to sell that many in one transaction and instead of explaining the reason why the clerk was an asshole about it. I had that happen to me and I had no idea that stores had policies like that. I was buying them for a lottery at work and finally the store’s manager came over and…

Yet Trump supporters think Trump will bring jobs back to America (when even his own stuff is made overseas) and fix the economy.

Having co-ordinated large (although better organized events,) I actually can totally see this happening. One guy tells them to leave their stuff outside, and that he’ll take care of it. He tells another guy to wait by the boxes of stuff while he goes inside to find out what’s supposed to happen with the group and…

Those poor moppets know not what they do, I’m thinking.

He can’t fulfill this cheap and easy promise, yet his supporters completely believe he can follow through on all the wild promises he has made in his campaign. Promises like all these:

Since Trump has never opened his books, all we know is that his dad had roughly $200,000,000 in New York real estate in 1970 that Trump eventually took over from him. We don’t know if Trump beat the S&P index during this time. We don’t know if Trump actually made money building skyscrapers, or if he would have…

Also, parents. Children are terrible at choosing parents!

I dunno, can we really use the word “choice” when children under the age of 15 are part of it?

In their defence, children are poor judges of character when it comes to assembling a management team.

Classic Trump. Save $2500 now, spend $25K defending and ultimately settle for $7500. I would have taken this case on, on contingency even, in a heartbeat. Yea, please let this “extremely” “successful” “businessman” run a country.

“I was hacked” is one of those lies that makes me fear actually getting hacked; the same way I feared an actual dog eating my homework.

Only going to become more and more common with so much of the country deciding that 4chan rhetoric politics is apparently an acceptable GOP platform.

Jewel’s response is lovely:

Bye Pfyllicia

Maybe now she’ll stop judging me.

“Lily-Rose is my goddaughter and I was there when [his son] Jack was born, so we go back,” said Manson. “Johnny is one of the nicest people that I know—to the extent where it’s almost heartbreaking how kind he is to his friends, and everyone around him....”