The only punches that get coverage here are between two participants in a 18th division under 12 Turkmenistani league match.

In all fairness, many of the refs were striking food service workers seeking to supplemental their income at $10/game

Man take a short nap and all of a sudden “long-awaited” doesn’t mean what you thought it did.

They ARE doing something about it, any player caught wearing a purple domestic violence awareness ribbon instead of the league-mandated pink breast cancer awareness ribbon will be severely fined for jersey violations and if a multiple offender placed in Supermaxx where nobody can see his ribbon.

Yep, soccer makes everything worse

“I should never traumatize a woman sexually. I should know. I’m a medical doctor. I have a mansion and a yacht. You’re the puppet.”

Here Lies Darren Rovell, 1978-2289: “Watered Meritocracy’s Grave With His Piss For Three Transhumanist Centuries”

I totally remember that part of the Constitution, where the obvious loser by about 10 million votes has to accept the results of an election before it’s final

Of course we shouldn’t forget a potentially clinching Game 5 where he could have literally shat the bed for all we know since he wasn’t on the floor due to his suspension.

It rose to administratively liable in the “suspended for a Game 5 where they could have put them away and followed it up with a shit Game 6 performance” sense

Please allow me to re-litigate this case based on snippets of testimony and no access to jury instructions (cracks knuckles) (falls asleep)

Man, I’d hate to be the East Lansing townie he picks a fight with in a bar tonight.

It’s not a news site, it’s a rambling list written by a seven-year-old that achieved sentience.

Look on the positive side, his burning redassery could be used as an alternative energy source

If only there was a word for a journeyman crap-ball thrower flummoxing a 100+ win team with several MVP candidates.

I was like “Who scored?” and then he took his helmet off and started yelling and running around and I was like “I know that face!” so I looked in the Giants media guide and it was HIM

Those prices are so low, they’re drunkenly through the table.

Man it’s really feast or famine with the Irish.

I personally can’t wait for the Horns to be in the bottom half of another conference.

Thank God we have the rock-solid Kansas football program to see us through.