LOL, you make her sound like Tomi Lahren.

Somebody who forced a Gold-Glove shortstop to third base when acquired by his team while putting up some of the worst defense ever at that position has the same right to talk about accountability as our current president has to talk about morality.

I’m outraged that Doordash pays its drivers so little that they have to play minor league ball to make ends meet.

I see serious flaws in that swing. However, if he spent 3, maybe 4 weeks in the minors, I think they will be completely fixed and he will go on to great things in the majors.

I read one and gave up. I get the gist. 

Ray Ratto?? What are you doing slumming on a site like this? You should be somewhere sipping mai tais and yelling at clouds.

(Nice piece, though. I agree... I’m all hated out on the Pats. The NFL as a whole is mostly irrelevant to me.)

I am also here for “defective Teddy Ruxpin.” 

Eh, for what it’s worth, the article got picked up by the Google news algorithm not long after publication, which meant it was getting dumped directly into the feed of every Google user who has an alert setup for “Elon Musk.” For one thing, that’s a lot of people, only a very tiny fraction of whom are regular Deadspin…

Adherence to a strict personal code still compels him to grumble “nice”.

Well written.
TLDR: Trump is a poor person’s idea of what a rich person is, dumb person’s idea of what smart person is, a weak person’s idea of what strong person is.

Then Mark Hatley will come out and tell us about the kickers they are trying out while mispronouncing their names.

There are things that he could have done better. For starters, they've been unable to develop defensemen because Q sticks to vets and gives them way too much rope. Their power play has been trash the last few years too. Ultimately, he'll be a legend in Chicago hockey. All good things must end though. 

If you don’t want random people yelling at you for doing an awful job, you have precisely two options: (1) resign/don’t run for reelection or (2) do a better job.

So you’re saying the gas and oil industry is backing a particular horse in this race?

I’m not really interested in being lectured about fiscal responsibility by the guy who gave massive contracts to both Brock Osweiler and Case Keenum.

One way to tell how old I am is that while I would be into that World Series matchup, I would also be very upset about those teams being in the wrong league.

Love to be chain ganged into the party that acts entitled to our votes while never delivering, runs incredibly incompetent and tone-deaf campaigns, and then blames me personally when they inevitably fuck it up.

Tom Wilson’s suspension is up but he’ll probably just get another.

Yep, scary time for rich white male rapists (everyday), but fuck young black males protesting getting murdered by police.

But that’s part of our marriage agreement! Have you never been married? He’s my pack animal of love! I plan the meals, manage the money, back off the workmen, do all the sewing and most of the cooking. He does most of the heavy lifting, a bunch of the dishes, kills the insects, and reaches down things from high…