Paul Ryan’s entire life is an example of “for me, but not thee.”

Who is he kidding, kids at that age do not want to hang out with their parents.

Also, in a related story: Buttercream icing > fondant.

“Hand tiara” is awesome. I’m not a fan of ostentatious rings, but if someone sold it to me as a hand tiara, I’d buy.

If I’m paying 31 million buckaroos for my wedding, it must include Idris Elba interrupting the proceedings, declaring his everlasting love for me and marrying me on the spot while David Bowie sings “Life on Mars.” For starters.

Fuckface Von Clownstick

• Ron Mexico
  

Home clay masks have done wonders for my black heads and oil production. Honey has greatly helped with acne scarring and moisture retention. I do love a facial, but I can't afford regular visits to a quality esthetician so I make due at home.

I love him. Priscilla, Queen of the Desert was a very influential movie for me as a teenager and Memento blew my mind as an undergrad. I’m sad he’s divorcing, but I love him even more now for his good attitude and that he had such a long marriage in the first place. Bittersweet.

I will not buy her new book. I WILL watch Twilight of My Soul: The Stephenie Meyer Story on Lifetime Television for Women starring Julianna Margulies.

I really hate Meyer for getting so many teenage girls obsessed with an abusive and unhealthy relationship.

“I got it killing a person”.

This is a great reminder for everyone. Medical people should take heed of this, too. Sometimes you forget to turn it off. Asking about these things is inappropriate in social settings. ESPECIALLY scars. ESPECIALLY in places where someone is exposed. Keep your medical inquiries to the exam room.

Personally I can’t talk about a few of my exes. Because when you invoke the name of a demon they tend to materialize out of thin air.

I was walking my dog the other day and tend to stay away from other dogs/owners because sometimes she might get weird with introductions and most times the other dog owner isn’t paying attention so I just do it as a precaution. The other day, some woman was walking her dog, on her cell phone, dog pulling, drinking a…

Well, you may be an amazing parent (and I really hope you are), but frankly you fucking suck at one of the most basic human skills: shutting up when it has nothing to do with you.

I think your comment comes off as a bit dismissive and insensitive to be honest. Not everyone has children, and for those who don’t pets feed the human instinct to nurture, protect, care, want to sell your charge to gypsies etc...

Most shelters instruct you to bring the animal back, and some shelters even make you sign legally binding contracts that if the pet be returned to the shelter if it is violent or unmanageable, so fuck you for your comments here calling these people terrible for doing what they were most likely told to do by the…

I can understand your frustration of people using a title that has importance to you. But not everyone wants kids, and pets may be the closest they get. They know it’s not the same, but (when they direct that language at you) they may be trying to sympathize, or (when it’s not directed at you) they’re just dealing…

Team Cat has no fucks to give about a sad dog story. They were mildly interested in the bit about bed as beds are good places to sleep, but that got boring so after a few seconds clawing something expensive, they went to sleep on the thing that shows up cat hairs the most.