You know what else is completely bonkers, Bobby? This ridiculous-ass ‘shop job. What is even happening.

Fame has “gone to John Boyega’s head.”

What?? This is OBVIOUSLY David Bowie, geeeeeeze.

We can only hope.

All the stars for 10 Things I Hate About You!

And I subsequently read that as “butt HURTbeats”...which I oddly love, so there’s that?

Womp womp... (signed, a lifelong Chicago-area resident and reluctant Bears fan)

Yuuuuuuuuup good, good.

Agreed! I’ve already been down the malignant melanoma path, and the surgery it required to remove “just” a Stage I.ii required 40 stitches in my thigh. I was 21.

Ha! I’ve seen it before with various titles, but this one was probably the most absurd...like they unwisely let someone at Gawker Media edit the titles to their ads.

Semi-related - this is in my ads at the bottom. I feel like it must be a parody somehow...there’s no way that this is real life:

Gasp! I didn’t even notice the omission...scandal!

He reminds me of a business consultant with that level of punchability, but maybe it’s work talking...

• Wear velvet, or go to hell, vet!

Audibly guffawed at the description “inbred potato.” It’s strikingly apt!

Happy birthday to me...?? Haha.

Oh. Em. GEE Totally Hair Barbie! She was my first Barbie and as such, I was particularly attached to her and her absurd outfit.

I know it’s ineloquent and there are far better words to explain this whole scenario, but: FUCK YOU.