Madeline, you are lovely and wonderful, but your own (and Videogum’s own #riptoosoon) Kelly Conaboy brought us that story!

Also, I don’t think she’s wearing “slimming black side panels”. I think there’s just a small patch of black on that dress. And it’s gorg. Also, Rita Wilson, you are lovely. That neckline is not your friend.

I assume so? that’s the only Kfed I know. There’s probably another one by now. We are old together, my friend.

It’s more frightening than I could have realized!

It was really a long shot for a joke, but I have to live my life the way I see fit. Commas are important, people!

Wait!!! What does KFed know about the “water people”??? Are they like reptilians? If they’re in New York, does that mean they’re making their way north? I need to get supplies!!

I know! I love little kids in dressy clothes.

Teach me your ways.

I mean...I think it would be amazing to hang out with Grace Jones and Iman, but I also recognize that I’m not cool enough to handle it.

But is the thermos monogramed???

My parents preferred the “avocado green” over the harvest gold.

Is this also a safe place to complain about those stupid Kate McKinnon commercials for cars that seems to play constantly on FXX streaming? Or the one where she’s doing yoga and eating pizza? I just want her to go away and let me watch The Simpsons in peace, like an adult.

The American Antiquarian Society (I’ve got library access, no big deal) posted a bunch of engravings of the Legend of Sleepy Hollow on their FB page today. I love museums and archives!!

This reply meme is my greatest gift to the Jezebel readership.

Damn. In my hometown (also in the mid-south) they stopped with the hat and everything years ago. They phased it out in the late 80s (at least according to my nurse MIL.)

I used to work with some carpet/tile installers. If they got cut on the job they just used superglue to shut the wound and kept working. Then they’d come into the office and gross me out. I don’t miss that job.

This happened to my third grade teacher! She lost her middle finger over it. UGGGGHHHHH

I too, would like to sign up for that particular activity. I can already cross-stitch. And I can hold my liquor.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH