They probably just thought it would be more efficient to use the punch bowls for weed, prescription pills, and blow. I am sure no one is sober.

maybe it was in the section on Jezebel.

I can’t adequately express the gratitude I have for you! I intend on printing this out and carrying it around for daily inspiration.

Is there a list somewhere with all of the hilariously creative ways Gawker (edit: and affiliates) articles have described Trump? If not can someone make one? You guys deserve a pulitzer for these Trump descriptions.

I think the most important thing we learned from this post is that Randal is doing great! Glad to see he no longer works at the video store. I always thought Dante was holding him back.

Is no one going to talk about the fact the he definitely photoshopped the color of his undies. There is no way, no way that undie color is real.

In fairness to Jones, the owner of the Ranch where Justice Scalia died is named John B. Poindexter. NO WAY that is a real name.

Season of Treason - Broadway’s newest musical. Can’t wait!

This will help.

If you don’t mind:

Any woman who is not a little afraid of being murdered by a man is not a logical or rational person. That being said, living in constant fear or refusing trust every man that you meet is also not logical or rational.