arielundersealodtmyburner
Ariel
arielundersealodtmyburner

I hope he's alright. He doesn't deserve this. As for the bullfighter, fuck that guy.

Am I supposed to feel bad for some Neanderthal fuck who was injured when his job was to kill the bull? This makes me nearly as happy as a story about drunk redneck fucks who have hunting accidents.

Guy deserved it. This barbaric “sport” is animal cruelty near its worst and should be banned.

The 8 for the nutsack is priceless.

The poor emoji dude looks so... ANGRY. Why so angry emoji masterbator?

He’s practical, that one.

BWAHWAHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHWHAWHWAHAWWHAWAHAWHAWHAWHWAHAWHWAHWAHAWHWAHAWHWAHAWHAWHAWHAWHWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHWAHAWHAWHWHAWH

I like how he’s standing on his tip toes while cumming.

this is the greatest.

I texted my husband a picture of my boobs when he was out of town once. He texted back a long response about the “dangers of the cloud.”

No dice. I would love a little blood sugar sext magik but my partner is a literal dude with an impaired romantic imagination. The few times I’ve tried, with innocuous but hopefully leading messages like “I wish you were in my bed right now,” I get matter of fact responses like “too bad we live so far apart.” :/

Anything that began “If I was single, I would....”

And people say romance is dead.

One of the first texts I remember receiving from Mr. VonQueso: “I would hump the shit out of you.”