It's not the dead person who is bothered by the desecration of their corpse. It is the loved ones among the living. I literally can't imagine if this were one of my daughters. I don't usually react this strongly to sick shit on the internet (or ignorant comments), but this one has gotten to me.

The baby gets to be Olaf. I got the shaft, I tell you!

I'm on board...except for the KISS Starchild pumpkins. Concord grape punch may be punk, but I draw the line well before Paul Stanley.

I'm going to be Anna from Frozen. This was the decree of my 3-year old, who will be Elsa. I was going to be a slutty construction worker, but I guess I'll do as I'm told.

This was exactly my experience with my oldest daughter. I still have guilt, as dumb as I know it is. But I also have guilt for not deciding sooner to go with the section, because she still has a dent in her forehead from my pubic bone. Damned if you do and damned if you don't, as usual, amirite?

Dear Jezebel fashion mavens: Does it count as a Canadian Tuxedo if I wear a jean jacket with jeans? I thought I was in the clear (I'd never get to wear my jean jacket if I couldn't wear it with jeans!), but I was mocked by a friend.

I wish the "Blunt Amendment" were as fun as it sounds.

My mother-in-law refuses to eat any vegetables. We aren't compatible human beings in many, MANY ways, but I perhaps find this the most irritating thing about her. Grow the fuk up, you know?

I like how he confuses his high face with his romantic face. See also: serious face, sad face, thinking face. Because his acting consists of smiling or sqinting (sometimes stretching his range by doing both!).

Nigel Barker at a dog fundraiser = best pun ever.

6. Woman may have to resort to public assistance to provide for herself and her child.

I understand where you're coming from, and I have felt that way myself (or the variant that we've totally fcked this planet up and I'll do my part to not contribute to the population problems). But when it came down to it, I wanted to get away from this awful news sometimes by blowing bubbles with a little one. I am…

I agree! People keep scolding parents for too much screentime, but there will be hell to pay if you send your kid to the park without you for a few hours.

I think it is pretty courageous for her to wear something that shows even a whisper of midriff. I mean, not firefighter courageous, but she had to know people were going to be giant dicks about it. Because that's not what people are used to seeing from Hollywood unfortunately, obviously), and it takes some moxie to…

Coke v. Vicodin, Red Wine v. I don't remember what was in this bracket because I've enjoyed too many of the entrants over the years.

Living large! My husband is out and I'm home with the sleeping littles. Pumping breast milk and watching the best True Life episodes! The ones on today were epic - weird pageants, furries, Juggaloos, vampires. Just spectacular! Will have a delicious Yuenling, recently available in MA, when I'm done pumping!

I'm so sick of the "Who has more on their proverbial plate?" competition that everyone seems to be always playing, especially women and extra-especially mothers. We're all busy. But this condescending person can seriously go fuck herself. What does trying to make other women feel shitty accomplish?

Arizona has unseated Texas for my title of "Scariest State to a Liberal Female Yankee."

That clip needed more Norman Reedus.

It makes traveling out there for work from the East Coast suck that much more, though. Like it weren't bad enough that I have to go to Phoenix, I have to be on West Coast time without actually being on the West Coast?! And you were right - they didn't adopt DST. It starts this weekend, not ends.