Mrs. Trump, any words?

When Carmelo thinks theres been too many shots taken, its about time we make some changes.

So who’s real and who’s just a waxen mold with expertly sculpted nipples?

She said she had multiple degrees, and I was like, “Whaaaaat? Get it, Amber Rose!”

Too afraid to rank Swimming, huh?

I guess you could say that the death line-up’s play on the court in Game 7 was

So, just to be clear....you can walk in a run, drive in a parkway, and park in a driveway.

Loophole: Rescue a declawed cat!

Personally, the worst kind of coworker is the one that does next to nothing but complains about having to be at work. I’m so sorry you have to physically be at work to get paid for attendance. These folks come in and split their time between prancing around the office, online shopping, and taking 2 dozen smoke breaks.…

you know how i know youre gay? you like coldplay.

Pretty much. Language changes quickly because people adapt it to whatever they want it to be. Thirty years ago, “Mentally Retarded” was considered a new, sensitive, modern term for people with intellectual disabilities. Now it’s considered a slur and is bleeped out when Bring it On airs on basic cable during the day.…

All choices have consequences.

HOLY SHIT NO WAY

Unpopular opinion: Prince wasn't that good.

Jesus. Enough already. He didn’t cure the sick or heal the lame.

Can’t believe I’m saying this, but good move by the Browns to put themselves in a position to draft 3 quarterbacks in the next 2 years

There’s always something fishy going on when women are on their cycle.

“Unclear if that total included this girl, who has an awful lot of blood on her hand.”

a sex nap