I know that I’m one of those people that touches every aisle seat: it’s not because walking is hard, but because I’m afraid of flying. It’s genuinely terrifying for me to not be tightly buckled into my seat, and I imagine some of the other seat-pullers are in that boat.

Good god, where is your magic dentist?

Every time I see this campaign publicized, I wonder if money might be better spent by taking all the tens of thousands trying to lure people into bringing their own job to Tulsa and instead putting it to trying to draw companies there. Said companies could make the state more of a draw. Maybe then people will want to…

Grocery shopping takes a long enough time without looking at all the expiration dates (at large markets I have enough faith to not look) and then take a picture of each item. I’m doubtful I could find something expiring in less than a week.

I would be absolutely shocked if Optimum ever offered anything this service-y. It wasn’t so long ago that I cut the cord and had to bring my cable box to a part of Brooklyn that was a veritable transit desert, one hour each way travel time (if I wanted one of their omnipresent service vans to pick it up, it was $50).…

No thanks. I’m tired of all the vapebros by my work building puffing Hubba Bubba-scented fat clouds in my face as they hold their Lego up to their mouth. Grow up and smoke real cigarettes, children.

Do none of the people fawning over Mark Ruffalo remember he’s a 9/11 truther?

They’re not going to win over any conservative viewers so long as Trump keeps tweeting smack about them, so why try?

NYC just put out a clarifier on that: any cardboard that the grease hasn’t seeped through is fine. So I can safely tear the top off the box (though not the sides that tuck in, because of cheese stuck to them) and put it in the recycling. The rest is total trash though.

That’s when I take my bony knuckle and jam it in his/her spine. Usually results in a shifting of position or a “Why’d you do that?” to which I explain that they’re leaning on my hand like a total jerk.

On the subway, people who 1) lean on poles so you can’t hold on (or, worse yet, just lean on your hand, which was already hanging on to the pole). 2) Walk through the train’s door and then just stop, making it difficult for the people behind to get on the train. 3) Don’t let people off the train before jamming through…

I think it’s not too over the top, but the cheekbone implants are little much. I do like the way she hasn’t over-plumped her lips. I can’t imagine going through all that pain and risking not looking like myself.

Is he so important that nobody can tell him his illustrations are horrid?

I sure do use every vacation day. I get nine of them, so it’s not that hard. :*(

I always buy my gift cards when they go on sale, so my $10 for a $20 Starbucks (or whatever) gift card isn’t getting them as much.

Size Charter is incredibly helpful, and J. Crew and a few other sites have this tool incorporated directly into their sizing charts. 

I think the term “anti-abortion” is more appropriate. “Pro-life” is loaded with feelings for some, and attaches an implied superiority to the stance. I always prefer the two sides: you’re either for it or against it. I’m not “pro-death,” after all. I’m for a woman’s choice to choose what she does with her own body,…

You are not alone! I tried up until 6th grade, my dad dutifully pushing behind me, and I can either pedal or steer, but not both at the same time. To compensate, I’m an indefatigable walker, though. Since I live in NYC, and cycling is pretty daring here, I don’t see myself ever learning now.

I keep looking for emails, and I’ve got nothing.

Did she have the long E pronunciation, too? Otherwise it seems like their main problems would just be in print.