*waves hand slowly* This is not the butthole you are looking for.

Interestingly, that's the sound I make when someone checks into my butthole. 

They missed a golden opportunity by not putting it in Hershey, PA.

Great username, Guardian! 

They're much like me in that respect. 

If someone checked into my butthole, I'd be touched. 

Why doesn’t this person just ask mommy and daddy for the money (otherwise known as the "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps" method)? 

You realize you’re speaking to someone named Boner of a Lonely Heart, right?

Let me ask you this

I bet myself this was a recognitions post. But nope! 

Personally, I like my sugar with coffee and cream

Cancel culture?

“People need to find things they enjoy, and then just enjoy the heck out of them.”

I once had a girl.

Why would anyone worship any of Earth's false gods? 

This all just proves that cloning is a much more efficient method of procreation, wouldn't you say? 

“So basically it’s every man, woman, child and invalid for themselves?"

Phony. 

That's like putting your whole mouth in the dip! 

There are munchies though, amirite?!