it's almost as if it's a joke and not actually a real term

"I just feel like the grass to murder ratio is a little off in your leogarchy."

God, I wish I hadn't already told all my "Lion King" stories on Jezebel. Not only did I once write an extended paper on its similarities to "Hamlet", but it's the second-best Disney movie of all time (after "Fantasia.") All I have to add is that Zazu/Polonius is not a toucan, he's a hornbill. And that "Be Prepared" is…

Zazu is a hornbill. A HORNBILL I TELLS YA. TOUCANS ONLY LIVE IN THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE. DID YOU NOT READ ZOOBOOKS AS A KID??? WHAT? YOU HAD FRIENDS??? WEIRD.

"I guess nobody explained to Mufasa that when a hyena eats a baby lion, the hyena turns into grass, and then the antelopes eat the grass! It's the circle of life, Mufasa! Mufasa is maybe not the greatest grass scientist."

I just feel like the grass to murder ratio is a little off in your leogarchy.

The only reasonI know you're not my boyfriend is your writing style, otherwise, ayup.

Guys like to bitch about women complaining about stuff.

High fives for "dainty beef brooch."

Princess Lovely Locks!!!! I never understood why rodents in your hair was a good idea....

My friend wanted to start a female version of Hooters: there would be hot guys in speedos, and lots of red-headed and downy birds. She would call it "Peckers."

If a "she-sized" steak isn't DOUBLE THE BIGGEST FILET MIGNON, they have no fucking idea what "she" eats. I don't go to a steakhouse for a modest meat medallion or a dainty beef brooch; I want a huge motherfucking piece of the best thing they've got. That's why I got dressed and left the house.

Backstory: My mom and I are both fat.

"But what the shit is this!? A "steakhouse"!?!? What's all this brown stuff on the walls? "Wood"? What the fuck is "wood"? Where's all the pink? How am I supposed to enjoy my food when there's no catwalk? Where's your garnish menu? Who eats 8 ounces of meat in one sitting? How many decks of cards is that? What do you…

And Lindy hits it out of the park, again. My favorite part:

"Not remarking on how much food a female patron orders (HAPPENED TO ME MORE THAN ONCE)."

Thing is, you wouldn't be eating a HUGE meal. No doubt women-friendly restaurant means smaller portions that are MORE EXPENSIVE. Because women.

(Idea: ACTUAL PLAN B ON THE SATURDAY MORNING BRUNCH MENU! And you could call your restaurant "Over the Counter." And you could serve Whorange Juice and Casual Seggs. Holy shit. Copyrighted.)

"I need feminism because what is restaurant."

"(Idea: ACTUAL PLAN B ON THE SATURDAY MORNING BRUNCH MENU! And you could call your restaurant "Over the Counter." And you could serve Whorange Juice and Casual Seggs. Holy shit. Copyrighted.)"