I for one, welcome our alien overlords in their occupation and rule.  

I would vote for Alison, but American “cheese” isn’t cheese; it’s what happens to cheese in hell.  Haven’t heard of about half of these before; and yet no one voted for Havarti?  You kids today are just weird.  #lawn #cloud #etc.

Personally; I’d rather be a fetid dingo’s cancerous testicle than Donald Trump.

Um, gross.  Some slob spilled part of their salad on top of your lovely ziti.  

Hey, Elon!  You’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny!  p.s. I’m a single adult male who lives alone.  ($$$$$$$$$)

I saw the picture and thought “Tater Tots!” and I was happy.  Then I read the headline; and now I’m sad again.

Yea, but Reagan would be too stupid to figure that out.  Trump would flatter him and he’d fall in line; like always.  He was the proto-Trump.

Ike Eisenhower - the last, honest Republican President.

Nah, more like:  “Those look like a lot of fun; but if I tried that I’d likely break a hip; damn it.  If I can’t play then no one should!”

What kind of horrible person hates on getting a great pizza faster?  Have you no soul?  Do you hate Netflix for ‘ruining your movie experience’?  Hate drive-thru’s for ‘ruining your dining atmosphere’?  CAN’T WE JUST HAVE GOOD, NEW THINGS!?!?!?  Please?

So, 2 questions: 1) Does the British PM have access to a ‘button’ like the American President does? (Just askin’)

Pfft!  I reject your facts and declare them fake news.  <insert reversion to promotional talking points; utterly outside discussion topic.>

Ahem! <assumes smug; superior InterNetz voice> Almonds aren’t nuts.

As a diabetic who can no longer directly participate in the joys of candy; I can impartially and definitively state that the Snickers should go.  Nuts have no place in candy until processed into peanut butter, their ultimate form.

The America we have to deal with today; friggin Jimmy Falon asks Sen. Warren more hard-hitting questions than Rachel Maddow on the same night.

A family member of mine used to just casually reach over and snap the windshield wiper of ass-hats either taking up 2 spaces; or otherwise being parking-lot villains.

it goes like this:  Coffee-regular (i.e. cream and sweetener of choice - not Latte-da); DMD; Crystal Lite; H2O.

Shake Cheese; as it has been dubbed by the children of my family; is also good used lightly on pizza; as long as the pizza is still hot.  The popcorn thing was introduced a few years ago and is a big hit as well.  Much better than the powdered ‘butter flavoring’s available.

As a word; I have no issues at all with moist.  As a way to creep out over-sensitive people; I love the word moist; and use it much more than I would otherwise for just this reason.

Someone has to play The Calculator; might as well be Capaldi.  Alice Braga as Baneshee?