Once you reach a certain age, pitching a tent gets harder and harder.

Throw those butter wrappers in a pot, add some potatoes and a carrot, baby you got a stew going!

Ok, ok. We get it. You’re still into a thing that should’ve been over by the late 90's, you feel the FBI is out to get you & your leaders, and you’re probably sticky to the touch. But why did you have to schedule your rally the same weekend as the Juggalos?

John Quiñones? Is that you?

Welcome to US politics in 2017 where everything is made up and the points don’t matter.

Mix in tinsel, added tinsel strength.

It wasn’t a rental, per se, but one time these kids dropped off a 1961 Ferrari 250 GT California at the parking garage I worked at. I knew they were probably playing hooky from high school and it was most likely their parent’s car, so me and a buddy took it for a joy ride around the streets of Chicago. There may have…

It’s the tiniest violin in the world....

To quote Krusty, “If this is anyone but Steve Allen, you’re stealing my bit!”

Damn shame when folks be throwin out a perfectly good white boy.

I see you shiver with antici

As owner of “Pappy’s Runaround” in East Urinal, Nebraska, I take great offense to your comments. Obummer made me have to take out the insurance on my three waitresses and now that I knocked two of ‘em up (Darla is too old and too smart mouthed) why I can barely afford my $4 prime ribb* special and who’s gonna serve it…

When people ask what happened here, tell them that winter came for House Pornhub, and lots of people didn’t.

Good to see the classics never die.

I bet if you threw down $4,000 cash, you could drive away in this bad boy. I think it’d be worth it.

I don’t think he has any idea what he’s trying to express. He just kind of farts words from his face anus.

Meh. I won Time’s Man of the Year in 2006, for real. Big deal...

Does it really matter if it’s fake? Does anyone think a person living in a median housing development in South Jersey (or pretty much anywhere else in the country) is sporting a real Speedster, or a real Cobra? I live there and I can tell you even if it was a perfect replica, I would know it was probably 99% fake and…

One man was charged with the real-sounding crime of “unlawful use of a two way communication device.”

A friend of mine bought a VW Diesel Golf. Turns out the sellers lied about the emissions or something big time. Super sketchy scenario. Whatevs. Sellers took it back.