Oh what the actual FUCK.

That sounds like a fantastic birthday! Ticket to Ride is the best.

When something is obviously out of place in the Jez comments, you can check the comment history by clicking their user name.

This person has five comments to date, all in the last few hours, and all argumentative in nature. You just rewarded troll behavior.

I know it's hard to resist the temptation, but when you try, it…

Something about Wilmer Valderama really creeps me out. I wish she'd get away from him.

Don't they need permission to write a movie about me? I NEED A LAWYER.

These are perfect little misogyny haikus. I'm hoping I'll be able to show these to my granddaughters/great-nieces to explain how much better they have it.

Liar.

YIKES lady, fucking YIKES. I didn't say jack shit about my own politics but thanks for accusing me of:

Slightly to the left is better than far to the right. I hate when people say this shit about how they won't bother voting because both candidates suck.

Or the fact that freedom of religion also apparently means freedom to practice my religion and do any other fucking thing I want like own a corporation without obeying the laws of the United States but fuck you and your religion if you can't afford your own corporation and no I WILL not cease to own a company if the…

This fucking bullshit. THE LIBERAL MESSIAH IS NOT COMING. No one is going to give you a "real liberal" option. You think the Obama presidency would have finally got that through y'alls heads but you just keep on clinging to that delusion that undoing the conservative shift this country has taken is just a matter of…

Amen. I always vote for the liberal in the primaries (if there is one), then hold my nose and vote Dem in the general. Then drink a lot.

Vote democratic. It seems simplistic but right now the older members of the court are the conservatives and Ginsburg. They are the most likely to die or retire in the next 6-10 years and we want them replaced by Sotomayers and Kagans. If there is any way in which the parties are really different it's this.

Lol for real. Somebody once tried to argue with me about how "anti-choice" is a "childish" name for the PRO-LIFE movement and I was like ummmm but you aren't pro-life because you're for the death penalty/lots-o-guns and literally you are just taking away reproductive choices. "Childish" or semantically reasonable?

And…

That freedom of religion no longer means freedom from religion gives me the saddest of all sads.

"Priests for Life will not obey the mandate! Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever!"

Guys, the whole thing is terrible. "Where nothing ever grows // No rain nor river flows." OK... "Where the only water flowing // Is the bitter sting of tears." And, my personal favorite, "And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom." I'm not making this up. All of the lines are the worst…

They're up there with U2 and Coldplay and fucking Adele on my list of most annoying musical acts out there. Can't fucking stand any of them.

"B-b-b-but you were successful! Everyone else in your situation who fails is just lazy! Bootstraps! 'Murica! Wharrbargghalhlghgldkfjahd;fjfk"

In time for Thanksgiving. We are all thrilled.