Tiger: Your honor, I am not to blame here. The zookeeper told me to eat the pussy.

For some reason this made me think about how a lot of romantic comedies are secretly horror movies.

I figure Jeff Bezos’s dick looks just like Jeff Bezos.

yuck

There’s no such thing as bad publicity.

Does this count? I was riding BART home from work on a crowded train and out of the corner of my eye I see an older man (seated back to me) raise his phone kind of like at a selfie angle. I kind of wondered to myself why an older guy was taking a selfie, but thought thought of that old guy using a selfie stick review (…

It’s like they chose companies named after how shitty they are.

jesus fucking christ. 

This anecdote is the Trump presidency in a nutshell. We have to do this trip, and we don’t really especially understand why. But we also need attention! Let’s get some attention for ourselves by offensively trolling this whole thing (that we don’t understand.) Trolling is a great way to get attention. The more…

Or realizing this is the real person you thought you “loved” in the first place 

You seem to miss the point, which is, keep that shit, whatever your beliefs are, to yourself. Some don’t, and I find it annoying.

Hey, don’t ask people to talk about themselves if you are not prepared to get a honest answer.

“..The problem with the question of ‘what do men want?’ is that they usually just tell you, rather inelegantly...”

The problem is there are way too many narcissists out there. The other problem is that the current obsession around privilege and who does or doesn’t have it, lends itself perfectly to not just the trauma industry but also professional victimhood and oppression olympics type ridiculousness with people basically…

Yeah, quick, let’s move to a country that has no similar moral problems baked in to its very existence and has done nothing objectionable in the last 250 years. Iceland? Maybe? I’m not sure about New Zealand. Okay, I’m out of ideas. 

By the time I was 16, I’d endured years of: misogynistic tirades from my father who called me a prostitute when I was in second grade (learned a new word that day!); ongoing paranoia from both my parents that I’d have sex despite not knowing what sex was at the time (lower elementary school); bullying at school from…

Well, there was that guy who isn’t around anymore. Don’t think that only happens in the one Soho store.

Entitlement is the strongest drug known to humanity.

if i wrote a poem, someone plagiarized it, and then had the gd audacity to get a tattoo of my words on their body??? i’d have a very hard time being as civil as mckibbens.

I agree that a trainer is a great thing, but I've never heard of hiring one for $25/session. My last trainer was $75/session and I thought I was getting a deal.