Not only did you provide me with a single concrete target to project my fears and insecurities and Orientalist desires upon, you gave me someone to compete with, which is what I was implicitly doing every time I put my ideas to paper. I was trying to prove my eloquence and brilliance to someone whose own eloquence and…

I think this guy had a psychotic break. Seriously. This is terrifying. I'm less inclined to think he is a douche and more inclined to suggest that he has, at best, a severe personality disorder.

I did not "lose" my virginity. I did not "lose" anything when I became sexually active - i gained a sense of self & personal autonomy. The purity people can have their beliefs, it's none of my business. When it comes to my beliefs, however, they can talk to the hand.

More suitable question - why do you not have one on your desk?

The obsession with virginity stems from the obsession to own and control women. The sad thing is, I don't know if that attitude will ever completely disappear.

How's 1.5-3.3% discount, fraud protection, building credit (for a future major purchase such as house or car) for advantages?

"... one of the show's plastic surgeons..."
I don't even know where to begin enumerating all the things wrong with that concept.

Good, good... the public grows weary of all these little, naked pop stars and redirects its attention to the entertainer we OUGHT to be seeing everywhere:

Billy Ray Mullet. You get all the cookies for this.

Sinead O'Connor is not a member of the lucky sperm club. Her parents had an ugly divorce. She was abused by her mother. After shoplifting as a teen, she wound up in a Magdalene Asylum. Sinead got to where she is because of talent. That her talent is interwoven with mental illness makes her success even more striking.

Err... why are all the dudes skinny and androgynous? Not that I have anything against skinny/androgynous dudes (and obviously that's just how some of them are, like Aladdin). But it just seems odd to me when the male characters are placed in in the traditionally female (re: weak) role, they suddenly lose all of their…

Oddly-named craft beer that comes in a can is the bearded funny guy who isn't your type at all but who always meets you at the subway station when you come over and turns out to be great at oral.

Absinthe taught english in eastern europe and got away with all sorts of shit in the early 1990's.

What your facialist sees while you are blissing out to her Enya cd.

I'm a clinic escort, and I can tell you that all the people who actively protest (as opposed to those who gather to pray, but don't otherwise try to harass or engage with patients) at my clinic are equally bananas.

Maybe Jake Tucker goes to school there.

Was this joke just too easy?

Okay obviously this is awful... but on a hilarious note, I kept misreading "Miss Teen USA Cassidy Wolf" as "Miss Teen Wolf USA, Cassidy." I would definitely tune in to watch the Miss Teen Wolf USA pageant because I want to hear the contestants answer questions about equality for teen wolves and what life lessons being…