Freshman year of college. In a dorm lounge kitchen. We dragged a chair in there. She’s grinding on me for a longgg time. We’re fully clothed. I’m wearing jeans. (I forget if we had sex that night but that’s beside the point!) Woke up the next morning with most of the skin on my penis rubbed clean off. Taking off and…

Perfect timing for this post. For the past week I’ve been nursing a jaw injury from going down on a girl. (Not even trying to humblebrag. I was a sloppy drunk and think I overexerted the jaw.) Coincidentally went to the dentist today. On the patient check-in sheet (“Are you allergic to asprin,” “do you have a heart…