So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is “wut r u doing wit my daughter?” U tell ur girl n she say “my dad is ded”. THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

Ah man I cant believe I missed the window to submit. Honestly I look forward to this every year. Might as well write mine here in case anyone wants additional reading.

Blah blah blah I’m happy for them but those quotes are god awful attempted poetry. Like real bad. Her heart is full of deep ocean minerals? What does that even mean??

She was also Shawna Malwae-Tweep on Parks and Rec.

I like to think they wrote the part for Kathy Griffin, and when she wasn’t interested all they could find in the resulting scramble for the shoot was a Lucy Ricardo wig and a woman willing to work for scale. Like, the original concept was the intestines walking around with a mic, doing some stand-up, maybe heckling…

I can’t believe he faxed it to the clerk. That’s some bullshit. Also, O_O

I hated school by senior year in high school, and my best friend had an afternoon work study job in town, so I often got “sick” at lunch and rode home with her. But the principal started just sending me to the nurse’s office, so I upped the ante and began telling him that I had suddenly started my period and had to go…

Back in 1971 when I was in 8th grade, I told my parents I was going to an Alice Cooper concert with a friend. When queried about the artist, I responded that “Alice did mellow folk music, like Judy Collins.” The next day, there on the front page of the Houston Post, was a pic of Alice in full makeup, shirtless,…

My lie cost me thousands.

Carob?

She fucking killed that debate and I am drunk and a nasty woman and also i love bad hombres and fuck him and i ate a burrito and several cookies and maybe like a whole bottle of whine or wine or shit or omg i need to go to bed even on the west coast i am a mess omg i hate trump o hope he dies ifn a fire

Oh please, of course it’s not true! Unless a picture of this newspaper clipping is produced, I’m going to credit the author for writing a pretty good scary story.

There are over 2000 posts now! I’m going to add my story, though I doubt many of you will see it.

This. I have some violent stuff that turns me on (and I have a theory that some people tend to be turned on by what terrifies them so it’s a little more complicated than wish fulfillment/serial killer desires, but...) WHY OH WHY would you drive someone out to the country and scare the shit out of them like that?

This just happened, on the 1st of this month.

This isn’t my story, personally, but it’s one that has kicked around my family for so long that it definitely feels like it’s mine. It’s been told and re-told, but I do think that the central details are very solid.

Okay, so this may not be the scariest story ever, and none of you will ever see it because I’m as gray as they come, but it is 100% true and you can make of it what you will.

I know I’m late to the party, but here is a truly scary story - you might say it was a matter of life and death.

Once, when I was in high school, a bunch of girlfriends and I decided to play Ouija during a sleepover. My friends were an odd mix - social outcasts who banded together over being the weirdos. So we had the stoner punk girl, the nice and quiet religious girl, the slacker girl, the goth girl, the two twins whose mom…

I housesat for my best friend’s parents (who were like my second parents) before I moved out west. It was a pretty sweet deal: I took care of their three dogs, two cats, and bird and got the run of a four-story farm house style surbabn pad with a pool and 80 inch HDTV.