Oh dear a literalist...

Can you vote? Yes.

Because no one has such fragile relationships that not wasting time with nonsense pleasantries fractures them. I am against all such things. Like people that come into the office and say good morning. Work together 250 days a year for thousands of hours and years on end. Don’t need to announce your existence where…

Also I need to post this picture any time hot dogs are ever mentioned.

It’s really quite simple and clear - the names of the people on the invitation are the names of the people invited. So,

yes there is a big gap in wedding photography i have noticed?/????/sdghugius liek you can get the hobbyist for $1000 or the person who makes u look fly as hell for $8000 and i want to get the person who makes me look just ok for $3000, is that a thing?

I used to work for a bar owner who would greet every customer who wanted to make a complaint with “Before you tell me what happened, I just want to be very clear that it is against company policy to give free drinks, under any circumstances.” 99% of people simply walked away without making a complaint.

My nana was a regular (as in, this restaurant was two blocks away and the only thing she still left her apartment for) at a place called Jack’s, and one time, the chef brought out her meal to say thanks for the loyal business (it was a slow day). The chef, a very polite man, happened to be black. When he left, she…

TEA EMERGENCIES INCLUDE: Tea exists, and is not currently being consumed by me. Thanks.

In honor of my favorite Kinja moment this week. I needed to complete this thought. Also happy Saturday you magnificent, beautiful people.

That reminds me of middle school, when people were like “you only have big boobs if you can hold a pencil under them!!!!” I got my boobs early, so I was like “shit bitch give me that pencil CASE and watch this!!”

Zyrtec, my friend. I enables me to not only live with two cats, but work with tons of them on a daily basis.

Yep. I love kittens and puppies, but only for about an hour or so. Then I’m flat out exhausted.

#TeamOldPets4Lyfe

Forget the ridiculous third reason for a moment. Why do there seem to be so many otherwise intelligent people who don’t seem to understand that the vast majority of the time it’s not appropriate to act on your sexual impulses? Literally everyday of the week I work with and walk by women that I am attracted to,…

/patiently waiting for Clearly Canadian to hit the shelves.

Pepsi is gross and Crystal Pepsi is even worse and I am sad this has a remote possibility of happening.

Yup its a valid response.