Erin, you are doing God's work.

Hellooo, Gordon MacCrae.

This seriously reads like a serial killer who learned English from an imperfectly translated edition of My Sweet Audrina.

Ouch. Yeah, this is why I ask. Women seem to either love IUDs or hate them passionately. They're the cilantro of birth control.

"Please, please, please give me a grant!"

If you're going to give anyone a pass for reason B, you should take into account that for the vast majority of animal species, it is actually the males who do the preening and displaying for the benefit of females. So maybe even human men still have some remnant of that "primordial need."