“Those are not my words. There is no record of those being my words, even though there are recordings where I said those words. Okay, so maybe they are my words. So what. I will not apologize for my words. I will not stand by them either, because that’s not fair. But if I did say those words, it’s the media’s…

Actually all presidential debates are split screen. But in this case, it was pure magic. It was like watching a mom with a patient but meaningful raised eyebrow waiting for her toddler to wind down after a sugar high.

was holding it together until this picture. gee, thanks friend.

I’m not crying. You’re the one that’s crying.

Not sending people to prison for non-violent crimes is not that radical an idea, actually.

Correction-that is exactly the right number of Pop Tarts. Source: my three year old.

I just imagine Louise Linton getting real nervous on the regular and running outside to crouch in the shrubbery while the children she was working with are like “She’s hiding again. She’s so scared! Whose job was it to watch her?” “I don’t know, I split a coke with her yesterday but, like, I can’t spend every minute…

I traveled to Europe in 1993 — at the very same time as the Balkan Wars! I was in the middle of it, in France, Germany and the Netherlands, a major player in that epic struggle for freedom. If the Serbs had found me, in Paris, they would have surely paraded my head on a spike down the streets of, I dunno, Lyon? The…

But the stuff James Frey lied about was at least a little plausible, no?

By the way, we up here in Canada are already building our border wall.

The legal appeal is all well and good but I feel we need to set up a separate fund to pay for plan B.

Pretty much only Adele can get away with essentially saying “I’m here in real life, enjoy me. There are lots of others outside who wish they could enjoy me” and somehow it comes off as salt-of-the-earth truth rather than hideous narcissism.

When I’ve gone to concerts and recorded, I’m very careful to hold my phone in a way that doesn’t block anyone’s view (which I’ve been able to do because I was at the very front). But I sure as hell hadn’t disengaged from the show- quite the opposite. I was recording something that I found moving and riveting and…

Hi, hello. I’m a 23 year old who has seen twister more times than i wish to admit.

I was about to say, “I DO!” but then realized that I’m not under 30.

I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.