Okay, since you’re apparently quite intimately familiar with both versions of each substance, could you please identify the variant in the following photo?

Counterpoint: RUIN ALL THE CIGS BEFORE THEY RUIN ALL THE BODILY ORGANS

“Garbage frontwoman Shirley Manson”

“There is a great National distaste for disingenuous codswallop.”

Why, it stands for “LASTING REPRODUCTIVE RELATIONSHIP WITH A STABLE PARTNER,” of course! Is that not part of the local lingo in your neck of the woods?

Let me guess: HE was over 35, right? But that didn’t mean he had “baggage” or anything, because men are immune to any kind of psychological complications, of course.

...Oops! Hit the “publish” button by accident, and then did it again before the editing window was up. *forehead smack* Anyway, here’s that last bit:

Yes, very much so. I believe that every person I ever encounter is struggling under the weight of something I know nothing about, and that’s something I think about on a daily basis. Not to put my personal shit on you, but it’s something my mom instilled in me from a young age (not so much with my brother, natch).…

I just-so-happen to be having an especially bad moment right now – like, a long-time-coming total breakdown – and I’ve never even watched Family Matters (I’m pretty sure that’s the right show!), but that made me giggle by the third time around, so thanks. I genuinely think that just saying it out loud is probably a…

“I never imagined being a single mom [...] but fucking dating sucks.”

For future reference, you can totally just go back and edit your posts. See those three little dots in the top-right corner of every comment? The drop-down menu will include an “edit” option for the first 15 minutes.

Someone should explain to his attorney (the one who is making these statements on his behalf) that “non-consensual sex” isn’t even a thing. That’s not how it works. If Person A does not consent and Person B keeps going, then Person B is just straight-up assaulting Person A.

You’d think someone at Axios, or, say, someone at the White House (lol jk) would’ve noticed before lil’ ol’ Paul Blest did, but nope. How bizarre. I mean, considering some of the convoluted backronyms they come up with for proposed legislation on a regular basis, you’d think that people coming up with names – even…

The difference, I suspect, is that while the Catholic Church was clearly determined to just sweep everything under the rug at all costs, the sensitivity-training-and-transfer approach with teachers may be a result of the protection provided by teachers’ unions, much like with police unions (although there is…

Silly, naïve white American here. All I can think is, if lynching isn’t considered a hate crime, then what the heck is?! Is lynching not the quintessential, definitive hate crime???

If you’d glanced at the Buzzfeed headlines anytime recently, you’d know that the current format is “Plan Your Perfect Apocalypse Day And We’ll Tell You Which Friends Character You Are”

Bless you for this image/caption combo I never knew I needed in my life.

Never forget Jezebel’s simple, elegant, utterly eviscerating response to that nonsense.

Relatively speaking, of course. :)

Okay, asshole. Thanks for the feedback; I’ll be sure to take it to heart. God Forbid two internet strangers ever have a genuine personal conversation about their worldviews. I can’t wait to be just like you when I grow up.