The vomit wasn't even the issue here. Gary Bettman just didn't want another clown to be so closely associated with the Stanley Cup.

if i was smarter/funnier, i'd write an onion'y headline using your fuckingawesome "jackie robinson outs self as first black player" premise

It's not going to change bigots' minds. What it might do is help with the process of stopping there being any more bigots on this issue. I mean, again, Jackie Robinson didn't stop racists being racist. I guess he was ok because he didn't give a press conference announcing that he was black. It's the press conference…

Do you think that a gay athlete could just live their life as they choose, and when they just happen to be out on a date with a dude everyone else will go "oh, that's cool, we won't say anything about that because he's not announced it as, like, a thing"? There are two choices for gay athletes: disclose their…

People are making a big deal out of this because it's literally never happened before.

To say that the Russian police 'just operate different' is pretty much the understatement of the century.

Hard to swallow, too.

A great big joke? She just couldn't take it.

Oh, Lord! That really sucks.

God, we're going to get so much mileage out of that picture.

Wrong Graphic Is Wrong, Graphic

Similar to how police officers get sprayed with mace during training so they know how to use it responsibly, Comcast wants its anchors to know what it's like for customers dealing with Comcast so it fucks them with a grizzly bear dick.

Bright colors, uncontrollable violence, and terrible decision-making ability.

This was brilliantly written. Bets on how long until Tracie is headhunted from Jezebel? This was probably one of the best researched and articulated stories I've read on here and that's being said by someone who has been reading Jez since its beginnings.

Oh my. I'd read that the kids' names were Hunter and Forrest, but I hadn't tried to put them together with the last name.

This is an awesome read. I was one of the many Lisa Frank obsessed youths in the 90's. Part of her fan club, spending any scrap of allowance I had on stationary and sticker kits. I was always an art nerd and I even wrote an essay for my 5th grade class that ended up in the school's monthly announcement flyer. …

Not lifetime! This needs to be a Hollywood or Sundance film.
It'll reach a bigger audience and people won't assume that it has the "all men are villains" exaggeration most lifetime movies have.

truth. I've dated most of them.

Who KNOWS how many Satanic Churches there are! & Bigfoots! & heck, Saurons!