The sky is blue, therefor I’m cancelling (insert whatever the fuck here)!

Seriously...... I get lab results in less then 24 hours, but a fake billionaire running for president is still waiting after a week.. I call shenanigans.

I am confused by your confusion.

Miles would be perfect casting for Lochte in a dark, dramatic 2 hour movie about what really went down that night in Rio.

Elba’s a handsome, charming talented guy. Why wouldn’t he be a “thing,” if presumably you like Tatum for the exact same reasons?

I had the displeasure of spending a bit of time around this smarmy fuck when he was running for Texas Land Commissioner. He is quite possibly the worst of all the Bushes, and he hasn’t even done anything (yet) for which he should be tried for war crimes. He’s just the absolute fucking worst.

“That’s ok kiddo, thanks for the reminder I need to update my will.” - Jeb Bush

the GOP let the horse out of the barn a long time ago but only now is closing the doors. Except it wasn’t really a horse, but a mangy goat covered in rotten marmalade who thinks he’s a unicorn.

What exactly (other than to sow doubt and as more of that soft racism they are so fond of) is the purpose of releasing college transcripts and why do the Republicans keep demanding it when they won’t release this?

Even if he was an affirmative action admission all it would prove is that affirmative action kicks ass and is worth the investment, because we got Barack Freaking Obama out of it.

I’ve been trying out a Hope Solo joke at open mics recently. It isn’t landing as well as I thought it would. I’m gonna keep trying to make it work though because I like the wordplay a lot.

Part of me is saying “Hope Solo is an asshole and we should retreat to minimum safe distance” and then I’m like, “wait a minute, for once a woman has a job because she’s the best at it despite being an asshole, which has been SOP for dudes since 75,000 BC.” Ben Rothlisberger, for instance, still has a job with very…

They outsourced it to China...that’s why.

Also Ryan Lochte with that awful hair, looks like the younger, drug addicted brother of John Slattery. In this pic anyway.

I’m also taken aback whenever people insist that country music is “family friendly.” As if drinking, sex, and cheating haven’t been prominently featured from the get-go.

For the first time in history, white men have to occasionally, just a tiny bit, think before they speak and be questioned about their words and beliefs. This is the “political correctness” everyone is whining about. How dare people that they’ve always been able to oppress, insult, laugh at, or dismiss demand respect…

I know when I think of country music, “politically correct” is definitely the first descriptor that comes to mind.

Clarification is important. It is a vile act in any case, but the distinction (“Syrian refugee kills woman” vs “man murders partner”) makes a difference in the lives of other innocent people.

Jesus Christ, people are still bitching about Idiocracy. Meanwhile, I’m sitting here waiting for the Gawkerverse to acknowledge the deaths of at least 85 Syrian civilians by drone strike. There couldn’t be any better illustration of why Judge’s “fuck ‘em all” philosophy is kind of necessary right now.