Don’t smoke, kids. Or you’ll end up looking like Nigel Farage.

He looks like a blue-eyed Peter Andre.

That sounds a lot like Nanny Ogg’s ‘Banana Surprise’ from the Discworld books.

Being homesick sucks. It’s so tough when you’re far from home and people just aren’t quite on the same page as you. It’s really lonely. I’m sorry you have to go through this away from people who are in exactly the same boat.

Yesterday, some guy from Golden Dawn (the Greek Nazis) was congratulating Trump and saying how pleased he is that there is now an American president now supports ‘racial purity’, just as they do.

Had you thought that maybe people say that because they’re being sympathetic? Because I can guarantee that I know how you feel, because of Brexit. I’ve been grieving for months, angry enough to scream all the time, I can’t talk to people who voted for it because I get so upset. I wonder how sympathetic you’ve been all…

Actually, literally true because we write the date backwards in most of it.

Raúl Esparza and Barba are wonderful, fantastic and delightful.

It’ll pass. Don’t think back on it or beat yourself up. It’s just a nasty thought, not an action.

Please don’t give in to despair. Try not to give in to feelings that will make you miserable later. But it’s ok to be angry. Let yourself feel it.

Don’t have time for trolls.

You know when you say things like that, you just prove the Brexiters right in their own minds about the EU, right?

Unfortunately, you clearly don’t know anything about Brexit if you think it only affects the UK.

Right there with you. I was hoping America would prove how stupid the UK has been and bring some sense to this mad year.

That’s how we felt when Brexit happened. It hurts to realise that the country you thought you lived in doesn’t really exist outside the bubble. I mean, it’s like a stab to the gut that goes on for months... I still feel completely disgusted by England. I mean, I love it, but it also disgusts me now.

We’ve somehow all ended up in the Mirror Universe.

Vote Brexit to get the foreigners out, get less yummy foreign chocolate. All the more for the rest of us.

Yes, saying ‘Alexa, lights on’ makes me so happy. If it can do lights now, soon hopefully we’ll get Earl Grey tea, hot.

Me too, Australian male Siri is the best Siri.

The other day I asked my Amazon Echo something and she said ‘Sorry...’ and then she just stopped. And then she said ‘No worries.’ To herself.