Mom would leave us in the car all the time while running into the store. Worse thing that ever happened is one time Cousin Eddie was picking his nose and tried to wipe a booger on my brother.

It’s easier for a kidnapper to snatch when it’s out of the car. Carjackers don’t carjack parked cars. That’s stealing a car. Someone looking for a car to steal is not going to want the hassle of stealing a car AND a kid.

Fuck yes! Jump the giant tank full of gas!

The look like they’re about to set off on an attempt to circle the globe in 80 days.

This thing is sadness on wheels.

Ford Truck floor mats just add to the bizarre!

Dem rims. No.

“These are the major things a car does, unless of course your automobile is amphibious, which I have been assured by several people that my Skyline is not.”

Did Keith Richards get a haircut for this shitty gig?

Wow, did The Edge bang your girlfriend or something?

I see your comment twice, yet I’ve been banished to the gray zone for months. So jealous.

Kill these fucking fake side vents first, please.

Hey baby, does this forklift full of stampings turn you on?

“I love it when a plan comes together!”

I offered to compromise, don’t stick a stupid decal on my brand-new car and I’ll drive around with your dealer license plate frame. Which I did for a week or so.

There’s only 205 hp when it kicks in, so would you even notice?

God I hated those infernal door-mounted belts.

Which button’s for “TURBO BOOST?”

I don’t see what’s so strange about concession stands.

“Hey Johnny, tell our contestant what he’s just won,”