It's a veterans' cemetery run by a state agency that alleges to operate under the rules promulgated by the Department of Veterans Affairs. I would argue that a.) they don't, 2.) they're disgusting twatwaffles, iii.) fuck Idaho, and four.) fuck Idaho.

Pretty much. If the Bucks went for half a bill, then a winning team in Los Angeles can easily net the full bill. Any prospective owner with brain one in their head would be tripping over themselves to get an exclusive network deal like the Lakers and Dodgers have, and use the threat of a move down the 5 to the Honda…

Don't have to, no. But assuming that Hillary, like most cool grandmas, would want to be around to help and just be The Best (as grandmas tend to be), what better way to guarantee The Bestest status than being grandma in THE BLEEPING WHITE HOUSE? "Hey, want to go see grandma today?" "Sure!" [Jump cuts of Secret Service…

I don't think you get what "implies" means. That shirt didn't imply anything of the sort. What you inferred was all that claptrap. That speaks to you, and not to the shirt.

Wow. What a heedlessly cynical defense strategy: thinking something happened is now, per their logic, evidence against it having happened in the first place. Of course, I say "heedlessly cynical" because, sadly, the acquittal makes my initial assessment of "unpersuasive" factually inaccurate.

My two favorite candy bars are Chunky and Take 5. All you shitheels are welcome to cast aside these chocolatey treasures; meanwhile, I and others that are equally unpleasant to be around, will reap all the benefits.

I love my wife to an extent that ought to be weaponized. Unfortunately, I am a horror show to sleep next to: even if she could get past the fact that my resting skin temperature can melt steel (unlike, as the internet tells me, burning jet fuel), I can't breathe that well through my nose. This leads to a wonderful…

Years ago, just after their move to New York, Bill and his entourage came into the Staples where I worked and bought a chair. I'm not proud to admit that I didn't recognize him at first. He was beyond gracious and lovely to the entire staff there. One assistant manager asked him about Area 51. He just laughed and…

I never said it was impossible to get a good education at those schools. I went to a community college before transferring to a moderately respected four-year school, and value both equally. My point is that the level of academic prestige, and in turn the degree of scholarship, at a school like UNC is substantially…

Many many thanks for posting the thing I was going to post, but with citations. How science-y of you!

I write this from the intensive care unit as I recover from third-degree burns to my lips, gums, and tongue. Turns out I ate chicken thighs before they were cool.

The real kick in the head, the absolute fucker of this whole situation, isn't just that this paragraph-as-essay reads like somebody took an immersion blender to a still-warm pile of dog shit. It's that Chapel Hill is a school that people actually respect in an academic sense. It's in the top 30/40 of most national…

Why not go with "Qatar's World Cup 1000 Times Deadlier Than Boston Marathon Bombing" or "Qatari World Cup Body Count Like 4,000 JFK Assassinations"? We know those numbers, too, and both were far more newsworthy events. The worker death situation in question, while worthy of additional public scrutiny, is not at all…

...but you purportedly acknowledge your blind spot while simultaneously* raking Leto over the coals (quoting directly now) for your views on addiction/etc.:

Standard for what feels like the past 15 years of the show: unrelenting pursuit of topicality with a lazy tangential pun or twist passed off as a "premise." I could forgive the diversity issues if they wrote, you know, actual funny sketches.

Adore this, +1.

Yeah, I could definitely go for more chili dogs at all times.

Oh my god I love this.

Totally ungrounded conjecture: cumulative concentration of radiation up the food chain?

I would argue that grandma bukkake requires a substantial amount of compromise.