He also wasted no time in having Shaq as a teammate and Phil as a coach.

I think I know what happened here. You’re not funny.

Not ironic or surprising: poor linguistic skills of a Ravens fan.

In all fairness Rick’s Sports Takes are exceptionally bland.

I get it! Because he has a disease that makes him lose hair? Yeah fuck that guy for having alopecia.

So what substance were you talking about when you said, “soak up all the nasty shit in your stomach.”?

That was just him being gritty.

She took the name too literally.

She’ll probably be at the North Shore Rescue League before sunset, looking for either a Mangolden Retriever or a Brandon Bostick Terrier

Black Mamba Blocked After Bleak Mambo

Why break precedent now.

Well actually, most available evidence shows that runners tend to have a lower incidence of knee arthritis than the general population. This might not be because of running per se but because runners tend to have lower body masses, though even when controlling for this runners tend to be healthier. I’m not as well…

No, this is really good advice. If a salesperson works with you, analyzes your stride, provides you with a half-dozen options, goes back to check if it’s in a slightly bigger size or a different color and finds a shoe you like, going on to Amazon to save $15 is a dick move. Don’t be a dick.

Let’s not forget that on Aug. 31, Manchester City had the title wrapped up.

Maybe we’re being really harsh. Maybe Billy has no long-term memory, so all his reactions are fully in the moment.

That’s the only check from a Schilling’s bank account that is being sent to the state of Rhode Island.

Christmas Poisongas

I dunno about that, I’ve tasted Jesus’s blood and it has way more sugar than Cutler’s.

Does my computer/account need adjusting, or did Deadspin transition over to a new layout that’s more friendly to octogenarians who misplaced their reading glasses?

There’s a future for you writing Nationwide commercials for the Super Bowl.