That is terrifying.

That book gave me nightmares.

I did and I do.

I have an image of this and it's just perfect.

This is a WONDERFUL story, it sounds magical. I have always wanted to see those baby sea turtles in real life, they are precious!

Poor thing. I've been stung by a jellyfish too, though my experience was nowhere as awful as yours. I'm glad that you're ok.

Wow. I am very sorry that you had to go through being homeless, as I can only imagine how difficult that was. And also, you post the very best things.

That's horrible.

I had a picture of him over my bed. Til I was 25 and my then-and-still boyfriend said it was weird that David Duchovny was staring at us.

Are you also allergic to what I am going to pretentiously call almond-derivations, like almond extract? Because I find that in A LOT of things.

That's strange. I would think a cat's butthole might be cleaner, or at least leave less of a mess.

I AGREE! I feel like my world would be a far more entertaining place if I regularly received your tweets on my phone.

I try my best (I'm sure I forget to sometimes) to always write a note telling people about any nuts/common allergens in the things I bake. I once made coconut and gave a coworker a ridiculously swollen mouth. She looked like a boxer after losing a fight.

People will invariably fight during home remodelling or maintenance. I think that it's built into our DNA

Goddammit! I can't stop laughing!

Yes, thanks from me too. That burst of hysterical laughter confirmed my lack of professionalism to the office.

Like, sperm donor? Because the sauce (allegedly) has sperm in it?

Honestly, this is the only appropriate response to something like this.

That looks pretty cool. It's really awesome that you're promoting sane gun ownership. I know plenty of nice, left-leaning people who own guns, including my partner.

He has such beautiful eyes!