Quality use of social media and how people use it when they’re bored/feeling disconnected 

Never forget

I honestly can’t tell if you’re referring to Kissel or Henry lol

That is a hilarious story from your perspective. So glad you are in a great relationship now and happily quarantined together! : )

I am laughing at those losers with you.

Now is Not the Time to Text Your Ex.

I was walking in the area around UN Plaza in San Francisco and I saw a woman with a baby stroller. When I got close to her I saw that in the stroller she had a big fluffy white rabbit.

What if the nipple tape was used to cover up his nipple rings? How deep does this mystery go!?

This thing can fuck right off. Want to catch that fish, 50% chance it’s an egg. Could that be a buried fossil? Maybe, probably an egg. Where can you use the abundance of eggs? To make a bunch of Easter-colored furniture that I don’t want in my house. What will happen if I make all DIY Easter egg recipes? Don’t know,…

I think we are getting perilously close to “Keeping Up With The Kardashian Kids” being inflicted upon us. 

Even without kids, those of us lucky enough to have our jobs still have to work 40-60-80 hours a week from home—and then figure out how to squeeze in a workout in our teeny tiny apartments. The only time I’m saving is commute time, which is easily eaten up by the extra time it takes to queue at the shops or the…

With a lot of people working on reduced incomes, the items you showcase exhibit a tone-deafness that’s amusing. That’s the angle you were going for, right?

With a lot of people working on reduced incomes, the items you showcase exhibit a tone-deafness that’s amusing. That’…

This isn’t an average American shower, I’m sure. It’s going to have multiple shower heads, some sort of seat, and probably enough room for a small book club to meet on Tuesday evenings.

I mean, personally it just sounds like Grimes once again revealing herself to be a giant fucking moron.

I really hated that people were comparing the diaper change to breast feeding. It is NOT the same! Breastfeeding your baby at the restaurant table - completely normal and fine! Changing their diaper there? Disgusting, rude, and completely unsanitary! Changing the baby on the floor not as big of a deal obviously but…

This might be the only time I will ever agree with Wendy Williams. 

For Ariana to go from gushing about Pete in numerous interviews, including Fallon, saying she knew she’d marry him from the moment she met him, at a time she was involved with Mac Miller in 2016, to calling him a “distraction” is hurtful and cruel. First, she no doubt hurt Mac very deeply with that statement. It was…

I was way too old to have been a Jonas fan when they were famous before. Now I’m actually really loving their music and the fact that they seem to be living their best lives. They and their wives just make me happy because they seem so happy, you know?

Matt isn't going to go cannibal first. He's going to cheerfully recommend it, then give them self defeating suggestions on how to be a better cannibal. 

You don’t like it? Keep your kid at home and read to them yourself.