Yes! I always feel raped by my ex’s lawyer. It’s very unpleasant. I found that addressing him by his first name and acting like we’re friends disconcerted him and slowed the attacks. Something for you to ponder if you have to deal with your ex’s lawyer again.

I don't have any evidence that Donald Trump funds NAMBLA, but more importantly, I don't have any evidence to the contrary that Donald Trump funds NAMBLA, and that is the important thing to consider when facing the possibility of Donald Trump funding NAMBLA.

Well, Trump did have a convicted pedophile sitting behind him at his latest rally, while excoriating Hillary for who was sitting behind her at one of her rallies, under the logic that the people visible behind the candidate say something about the candidate’s agenda. (And the pedo was actually a friend of Trump.) So…

I don’t have any evidence that Donald Trump funds NAMBLA, but I want to words Donald Trump fund NAMBLA to show up more. Google bombing Donald Trump funds NAMBLA sounds like great fun. But it would be even funnier if in actuality Donald Trump funds NAMBLA

You know no one is forcing you to read it, right? Unless someone IS forcing you to read it. In which case, blink twice.

Many people are saying Donald Trump funds NAMBLA. Smart people, the best people, are saying Donald Trump funds NAMBLA. I myself do not know if Donald Trump funds NAMBLA, but I would very much like for there to be research into Donald Trump funding NAMBLA, if indeed Donald Trump funds NAMBLA.

Ellie. Can we talk? I think you might be me.

I think also that people just don’t understand what being gluten-free actually means. They think it’s just cutting out bread or whatever, and that’s actually not what it is.

I think your point is well made, but I’d point out that tons and tons of people think that ALL gluten-free people are hysterical and that it isn’t a real thing. After that guy who originally wrote about gluten-intolerance came back and retracted a lot of what he wrote, the amount of smug “I told you so” from people…

Once, in high school, I caught myself thinking that if I ever started getting even close to the fatness of my best friend, I would IMMEDIATELY stop eating until the issue resolved itself. Fast forward ten years and we’ve basically switched bodies. She’s very svelte, I look pregnant. And I love food too much to care.

Many moons ago I once looked incredulously at my teacher who had a pregnant like belly but having a daughter who was in her 20s.

She also writes, in multiple emails, that women make ‘78 cents less than men’. If women make 78 cents for every dollar men make, then we actually make 22 cents less than men. Right? I know this error is the least concerning part about these emails, but it’s driving me crazy.

I used to write these sort of emails, but for a research panel. That was only about TV. And the target audience was basically everyone. And these emails were sent out pretty much every day. It’s like channeling the same shit that servers and store clerks have to channel, but amped up to 11.

i have a good friend who just writes like that. she works in publishing. it takes a special brain.

I used to be a volunteer coordinator and writing a weekly call-out email about upcoming events, news, etc was part of the deal. I wasn’t full Chelsea-manic but you best believe those emails were chirpy as fuck. The first few, I sat with for a few hours and carefully tweaked (I’m a scientist by training, it’s hard not…

She got the term Squirrel Friends from the one true queen, RuPaul.

Is there a higher power that has to approve all her emails to make sure they’re “on brand”? I want to imagine she’s a Harvard grad that actually has impeccable speech patterns but is being forced to change it. Maybe there’s an app. She writes a perfect email and then plugs it into the This Is What Feminism is Right,…

I write emails like this for a living (I’m a content marketing copywriter). Hands down, a team has sat and written these emails, edited them, checked for voice. Chelsea is probably legit a worker in the office, but likelihood of her personally writing them is very low. I write the emails my CEO “sends” as marketing…

I want to crowdsource a question I have about chelsea’s “process.”

I’m looking forward to when Chelsea runs out of friendly greetings and vaguely flirtatious nicknames (‘pretty lady’, ‘beauty’) and has to resort to foriegn words and overt sexual harrassment. (“Willkommen, honey drawers!”, “Hola, sugar tits!”)