Ha, when I arrived in Denver today, Carlos Mencia was on the airport tram with me. Guess he decided to come to the convention and be un-funny. I'm hoping to see lots of noncelebrities this week, and hoping even more I get to hear them pretend to talk about politics.

@kansasgirl: I'll agree with part of that statement - I had a pretty disturbing conversation with a younger (about 20yrs old) male friend of mine about how some real girls may not like the same things as porn stars do: shoving your peen down a girl's throat till she chokes, cumming all over her face, ass-to-mouth (or…

I found out accidentally that I can do this on command... a few weeks ago my (much younger, ahem) mantoy and I were doing it doggy-style, and I had a bit of a cold. He pulled out for a second and I decided to take that opportunity to let out a few coughs, and PFFFFHHHHSHHH. The only thing I could do was roll over…

My favorite ad that ever came up said "Baby's First Poop." Granted, it was actually for a keepsake place, but I was like, how the crap did that come up? I've been known to talk about poop, but I didn't think it had invaded my emails.

@BowlingForDollars: I think I bought those jeans at Ann Taylor Loft 3 years ago. They look cuter on him (dangit!).

@virtualcatlady (formerlycuteasabutton): Speaking of Miss Bimbo! I went to the website after reading about it on Jezebel, signed up for a "bimbo" and promptly forgot about it. Until yesterday. I got an email that said:

I just had to google "Wings Worldquest" because my first thought was, Why is Uma at a video game event?

@foodandshoes: I went out with a guy once who afterwards was like, "Why don't you take care of that?" (meaning my bush) and I was like, "Excuuuuuse me?!" We never went out again. Some guys watch way too much porn and think all girls should look like that. *shivers*

I always thought William was the cuter one, and then I saw this story about Harry on CNN... I sat there, slack-jawed, being like, "When did he get soooo hot?!" Then again, I've always had a thing for men in uniform, pacifist though I am.

@YourGoldKeith: I thought the interview was entertaining, if maybe a leeettle too close-up on Hillary. She perhaps would not have been so Chipmonkian if the camera hadn't been so close.

I went to high school in the rural south, and my girlfriends and I scandalized our very conservative school by openly talking about masturbating. We just couldn't deal with how the guys could joke about it and it was "normal," while meanwhile saying that a girl touched herself was a terrible thing. Even still today,…

My favorite cry-my-eyes-out right now is "Breathe Me" by Sia - it was also the song that played in the series finale of Six Feet Under, which I was obsessed with, so it has a double meaning for me. Also, "Summer Skin" by Death Cab (for all those intense summer romances), and Thom Yorke's "Eraser." And of course,…

I'm curious as to what is happening under that sweater to make it so puffy, knowing that she is skin and bones...

I have to say, one of the few things that I miss about my ex is riding around on his Harley. Although he used to make fun of me because when we would go out for a ride I would take my ID and my insurance card. Thanks for the neuroses, mom.

@dxh: "UN membership is simply not a necessity for the United States"

I would have bet money that the picture of Laura Bush was actually of a new wax statue for "Madame Tussaud's House of Horrors" or something along those lines.

I don't understand what she's wearing under that dress. All I see is skin. Maybe that's why she's grabbing her hoo-ha.

Omigod, I'm having an existential crisis - I'm wearing a royal blue sweater with black pants today. Is that not okay?! I never even thought about blue and black being a no-no (navy, yes, but not blue). As long as I like it, it's fine, right?

am i the only one who thinks the guy in the furry hat looks exactly like the old man who is the neighbor in amelie?