Foles foils Falcons; fucks Falcon’s formula for final fight for fulfillment, fortunes for foreseeable future.

Now if someone from Philly travels to LA to attend a game with a “Trust the Process” sign, then there might be a chance of acceptance.

Can they truly be a Philadelphia sports team if I’m never able to witness them disappoint me in person somewhere in the greater Philadelphia area?

If they seem befuddled it’s because they’re drunk, having come to the conclusion that everything everywhere is awful.

Say what you want about Newton—I’ve found his performance to be inconsistent—but this was pretty great:

Oh fuck what have I done.

“You’re out in the elements, Donnie!”

No, probably confederate

Mrs. Michaels: Al, do you really have to work on New Year’s Eve? I wanted to go dancing.

My list would include:

Tomlin would have tripped a player in his rush to tell us.

The league will be called Cool Tackle Entertainment.

That’s total nonsense.

The only way the Eagles have a shot at a deep playoff run now is if they take drastic steps and bring aboard a player whose very presence might cause a huge distraction due to his off-the-field racial statements.

I just threw up on my fucking shoes. Do you see what we let happen, people? The philly fans are smiling. GREAT JOB everyone.

I’m preemptively rolling my eyes at the inane GM scare ads that will try to bash the F-150 Hybrid.

Yup, sure is.

By way of comparison, NBC only let one employee go today.

Zoom in on that photo and you’ll see all the brown ones are lying down flat like they’re dead or something.

Glad to see my favorite driver “anyone but Kyle Busch” win the Championship.