She looked unhealthily skinny, but to make myself feel better I decided that she's really competitive (former athlete) and she may have intentionally gone super overboard to win the money, planning to get back to a healthy weight after the show. But I fully recognize that I am just articulating a hope; I have nothing…

Jeebuz, thank you -

Yes, I will take dating advice from Taylor Swift.

In related news, Keith Richards talks about how to maintain moderation and life balance in Rolling Stone.

I'd be hiding, too. BOOM.

"In the Ekaterininsky Kvartal hotel, the elevator is broken and the stairway is unlit, with stairs of varying and unpredictable heights." I don't know why this tickles me so much. I guess it's just that when it comes to stairs, having them unlit and at random heights is like breaking the social contract on what it…

Probably better off going ahead and using the gin for all hygiene purposes.

"I am a sick man... I am a spiteful man... I believe my liver is diseased."

-Bruce Arthur, after a night in Sochi

North Korea can only dream of achieving corruption on Russia's epic scale.

Olympic water - it comes in gold, silver, or bronze.

...not all man holes are always covered

You should ask for a refund.

Imma let you finish, but Beyoncé had one of the best anterior cruciate ligaments of all time.

GO HOME GUISE. THE INTERNET HAS BEEN WON.

KANYE DIED FOR YOUR SHINS

Literally cock-blocking lawyers.

It's kind of fascinating to me that to so many of these commenters, the only thing that could entitle a person to complain about their job is being forced to do it at gunpoint. Literally, that's it.

Exactly. I don't say shit on the internet I wouldn't stand by off the internet.