(Imitates Southern accent) If there be someone misrepresentin’ these here racin’ cars that...

As a Black man who was raised by a single mother, I understand where he’s coming from. My mom did the best she could with what she had, but she couldn’t be a father to me too.

You... monster.

You know, there is only so many intersections a person can navigate at once.

Counterpoint: Twitter is a shithole and everyone should stay off it, especially politicians because politics requires nuance, which takes more than 280 characters.

I'm confused. Which one is Jesse and which ones are Trump children?

I’m such a Deadspin fanboy that I hate Barstool Sports despite the fact that I’ve never visited their site.

35 Years a Slave, coming to a theater near you, February 47th.

The new Ferrari isn’t a 458, it’s just a Tributo.

Isn’t part of the problem the rampant NIMBY-ISM? The California state legislature has been trying to pass a law to encourage more high density housing along the transportation corridors with no luck.

My friend Liz says you have to fight too much with King Crab to get to the meat,

We have video

“2012 is the time we are going to send Mr. Obama home to Kenya or wherever it is,”

And then his eyes got all glassy like he was gonna start crying!!!!! If that’s not white superiority complex I don’t know what is

She was quick, poised and an example to all.

Not a penny.

I absolutely loved, loved, loved this look. The whole thing. He KILLED.

Not just billionaires...if I had a million