Every time I see a pic of Mary Kate, I wonder if she specifically asked her plastic surgeon to make her look more age appropriate for her older paramours. That is not the face of a 31 year old.

Think I’ll invite her to do a live remote from the Pine Barrens where I *live* & show her how my cat can kill a chipmunk WITH ONE BITE, the blueberry pickin’ that gave ol’ KellyAnne her start, and the heroin addicts waiting to score in the Dollar General parking lot. That’d be a day....

Hi I’m Megyn Kelly. The focus of my new show is to completely contradict everything I’ve ever said before, while pretending I never said any of that before, and imploring the audience to pretend I never said any of that before.

What is our obsession with redeeming/normalizing such absolute pieces of shit? She’s human garbage, but she’s pretty and blond so we’ll pretend that never happened. George Bush is now our kindly uncle painting puppies, we’ll just forget the million Iraqis killed in an unjust war. Look puppies, how sweet! Meanwhile,…

I see in trying to make herself appear more approachable she threw her sense of style out the window, too. She has softened her hair to the point of it not doing anything for her face and that shirt...Megyn, there’s a difference between “nonthreatening” and “crap” and you managed the second one. Like, she used to wear…

I couldn’t believe how bad that blouse looked—and then I realized that there are TWO women wearing the same horrible schmata! WTF?

Yes, watching Will & Grace “made” the guy gay.

Bleached blonde hair is no longer cool. It doesn’t look good; it looks tired and outdated and way too overdone. Stop doing this. You heard it here first. 

I think theres a couple things that could save Megyn Kelly - one changing her damn name to Megan. Two apologizing for the garbage she spewed on Fox News all those years and admitting “it isn’t her”...

Man, today, while Donald was tweeting vitriol at the NFL, Hillary was tweeting about Puerto Rico and encouraging the government to send help to them.

Madam Tussaud will never install a wax figure of Jared Kushner in their museums because, honestly, how would it be any different than the real thing?

In light of Trump tweeting (at a “failed” business, mind you- how is it STRONG to bully a failure?) during the Yemen raid vs. Benghazi and this, i’ve been thinking a lot about why is it that republicans are so good at weaponizing their outrage. Plus all the mileage out of the broken window at Starbucks during the…

At the very least, I hope Hillary Clinton threw a dish across the room when she heard this. If I were in her shoes I would have trashed the room and lit it on fire.

You cannot lock evil up. You must salt and burn. The Winchesters know.

Lots of us think we have a problem with guns. Just because you watch the idiots on Fox News spout their NRA talking points does not mean that most Americans don’t realize that we have a problem with guns. It’s horrifying enough without people making jokes about it like it’s hilarious. I am ready to give up on people.…

Unless you’re getting raises it’s damn unfair. If he needs you he can compensate you!

Any insurance rep who would yell at you should be summarily fired! This is totally basic, regular stuff, you aren’t asking for it chiseled into stone using hieroglyphs.

Thank you. I didn’t realize I had so many people in my corner until now. It’s very humbling.

There is a running bet on who is going to eventually pound his ass senseless. Smart money is on me. I can’t stand him.