Yeah...she makes me super grateful that I didn’t have Facebook until college.

It’s definitely making me cry. He was just a wee guppy back then. And now look at him. A dashing young frog with a Chris Nolan film and a beautiful album and a sold out tour. I’m so proud.

I always find my self wondering: how can the offspring of two conventionally attractive people look so... bland? He just seems to have the most “meh” face that’s possible from a combination of his parents’ DNA. It’s incredible.

I try to keep up with celebrity gossip but I feel like we’re flooded with all these types of people that all kind of look the same and have similar names. Like, I know there’s a Bella Thorne and a Bella Hadid now, but I had to look that up just to tell that it’s not the same person who got married or has a stage name…

In fairness, most 18 year old boys look like fucking goobers. To me, he kind of looks like a baby Charlie Hunnam. Give him a few years.

I’m starting to do this weird name association thing in my brain whenever I see this chicks name

Who said this: “I love Shakespeare and originally thought that’s what I would do with my career.”

cut the financials attack off at the knees and release taxes for last 10-20 yrs. surely you must agree best way to fight lies is with truth and facts. But I imagine you disagree. Pretty damn sure your “smartest guy” outsider has fucked himself bigly.

Simple: Mueller’s reportedly going through his finances. The only thing he’s actively hidden are his tax returns, because the proof of all his scams, all his grifts, all his tax dodging, all his money laundering, and all his espionage will be laid bare and plain to see once those things hit Mueller’s desk. Mueller’s…

The suit you wore to the inauguration made you look like someone’s crazy old aunt that they only let out of the cellar for graduations and weddings, Kellyanne.

Supreme and unwarranted confidence and a lack of self-awareness... those traits sound so familiar. Do you work in the WH?

Holy fuck do the people who tighten the straps on your jacket before they tuck you in know where you are?

Awesome, jokes about cancer. Are we really that jaded? Numb to the point we can longer show empathy to a brain cancer diagnosis? As a stage 4 cancer survivor myself, show some decorum for fucks’ sake.

Same. My grandma had colon cancer and my grandpa has incurable colorectal cancer. Nobody deserves that. Nobody.

No. I don’t care how much the guy sucks, I wouldn’t wish glioblastoma on anyone. It took my grandmother in six months and it’s awful.

You’re a tremendous asshole.

ME: tolerance and peace is the best way to go through life. we shouldn’t infringe on somebody who’s just doing what they want
ALSO ME: we should destroy every teen

“Honestly, yeah it’s terrible,” Paul said about his neighbors’ complaints. “It’s a bad situation. No, I feel bad for them, for sure. There’s nothing we can do, though. The Jake Paulers [Paul’s fans] are the strongest army out there. Dab.” And then he dabbed.