He might get mocked on Web Soup or Tosh 2.0.

That's just the thing. You can try to have a logical, compassionate conversation with them about abortion but then... you run into that brick wall. Even pretending that you can go along with the whole "abortion is murder" schtick, when you start probing about other "pro-life" positions, you find that they are…

Tell him it's not edgy/risky/taboo-breaking if it's in every shitty stand-up act you've ever seen.

I don't think it's hard for people to understand. It's just that most people who oppose abortion don't give a shit about women. They usually don't give a shit about children, either.

Also, he is not a Texan, he is from Florida and moved to Austin in the last couple years, so not even a long-term resident. Do not blame Texas for this human train wreck, we have enough of them to our credit, most who lurk in the bowels of the state Capital...

I''ve heard that exact line from guys smaller than 7 inches... And I've had bigger than 7 inches. And I think all the ladies can agree that inches don't REALLY matter, it's just how well you can stop thinking about black penises in bed.

I think shaming him for fearing black penises/penii(I always get the plural wrong, sorry) is hilarious. Because it's fucking stupid to fear someone else's genitalia the way he does while being so obsessed about it. He's really projecting his own sexual insecurities onto a whole race of people, which is bad and he…

If this is "locker room talk" then I'm gonna become a cop and go undercover in locker rooms, because what a great place to locate rapists for prosecution.

Let's be real, I would binge watch that with some pork rinds and a glazed look of muted horror on my face.

Also researched extensively:

Nothing racist.

This is what concerns me—leafy greens are one of the leading causes of food poisoning outbreaks, just behind meat last time I checked (though it appears the rate is on the rise relative to those traced back to contaminated animal products). And they're only inspecting meat products?

Is it just me or is this guy just a little too obsessed with black penises?

Every time some dumbfuck whiteboy says some dumbfuck whiteboy shit every other dumbfuck whiteboy calls it satire like a big dumbfuck.

No, in "outbreak" proportions they can usually trace it back to the factory or slaughterhouse, which is what they would be doing right now if they weren't dark. Most minor cases of salmonella like you're talking about — where the meat isn't cooked thoroughly enough or the counters aren't wiped clean enough — aren't…

Obama's just like your girlfriend? you mean she shut you down too?

A GOP politician explaining his perspective by putting down some random, possibly made up woman that fits in with the stereotype of just how humorously unreasonable and silly we are? Why of course.

I find that gun pointing at the naked woman ad completely revolting. First the violence that it implies. Second it also implies that the danger of unprotected sex only lies with the woman. Disgusting and wrong on every level.

What woman looks pleasant after vigorous exercise? After a run, I look like Satan's butt.