When presented with the option of using a laser the correct answer is almost always “use a laser”

A scorpion asks a frog to carry him over a river.

I left it open just for that reply, thanks for completing the loop!

The Assistant TO the Regional Manager.  LOL!

Strangely enough the Episode where Dwight on the office declared the same thing happened roughly 10 years ago in 2010. Is he the assistant regional manager of Fox and Friends?

Costco in and around Chicago carries St. Elmo’s sauce.

Even if it was part of a press interview i still feel like this is pretty much just straight putting spoilers right in the headline.

Amateur.

St. Elmos makes a cocktail sauce, but you can only find in local in Indianapolis groceries, or overpriced on Amazon. Its the steak place featured in the bachelor episode of Parks and rec, and one of Indy’s best steakhouses, but I swear they use wasabi instead of horseradish, at the restaurant, no clue what they use in…

I hear that capitalism also makes the sun come up every morning and is the reason for every puppy’s smile.

If you read Woodward’s Fear—which I highly recommend, although it will keep you awake—you will see that in the first 18 months of his “presidency,” Trump never changed his mind about anything. Tariffs, the wall, withdrawing from trade agreements, how to use military force, the value of alliances: the “adults in the…

Cosa Nostra Pizza will have your kidnappers sleeping with the anchovies in 30 minutes or less, or your pizza is 2% off.

Next they are going to report that due to the fall of net neutrality planes are now throttling streaming sites during flights. 

how to get white people to stop being assholes and calling the cops on folks of color doing basically anything in a public space?

Sounds about right.

A year-and-a-half is indeed a long time. And yet it’s only half as long as 36 months. That’s gotta be a typo, right?

Wrong. Binging With Babish is perfection.

I think we should pass laws by ballot measures require our representatives hold town meetings/hall/whatever so many times a year and within so many days. Stop letting them hide from their constituents.

Just get that actor in there, I would totally pay money for that.

I think we all know that he’s going to use his fake leg to beat every single one of the terrorists to death, like a real hero! Probably whilst saying things like “I’m no veterinarian, but looks like you’ve got a serious case of FOOT AND MOUTH!” and “You can’t help putting your FOOT IN YOUR MOUTH CAN YOU?!” and I can’t…