Does your Useless Mother know where you are.

Apparently you get paid like cents per text. If you have creativity, you're better off becoming a romance novelist. Or some sort of prostitute for emotions.

I had a fake boyfriend for a little while due to one of my coworkers asking me out repeatedly. It was annoying but I had to work with the guy and didn't want to deal with him. But honestly, all you have to do is pick a first name and occasionally be like "[Name] and I are spending the weekend in Vermont." And then…

Right now, I'm silently judging your choice in invisible mates.

We won't even have to talk, etc. We only need to "know" the other is out there. Like taking invisible to another level.

If this had existed for men when I was younger I might not have been forced to kill my fake girlfriend.

Maybe we can be each other's invisible regular friend.

You really like that word here on jezebel don't you? But yea, I hate women for the reasons I just listed above. Too many women are useless but nice to look at. I have no respect for someone whose entire life (and finances) revolves around their appearance. Our stupidity as a sex is literally bloating the economy. How…

Right? I would be the sweetest fake boyfriend, but also sad that I only get to text them once.

CLASSIC ALBERT.

I just want to know how I can get a job being the texting boyfriend. I would do this and I would be damn good at it.

It is so clear that he failed as a blogger before being hired to be a fake BF.

I would like to have an invisible regular friend (I have no friends). Someone should offer that service.

This was hilarious. I think my favoritest is Albert coaching you on how to blog.

No lie: pussy covering my pussy has already been done.

I genuinely got creeped out/sad by the response to the first question, "a co worker won't leave me alone." Honestly, the idea that there's a place in the world for this crap because women have to go to work every day and there's some asshole there who keeps asking them out, or trying to fix them up.

I invented a fake boyfriend when I was in 6th grade. I "met" him while on spring break at my aunt & uncle's in another state. He really liked Guns 'n' Roses.

This made me actually laugh out loud at work. Loudly. People are all like "why are you laughing" and I'm like NOTHING. Jk I have an invisible job everything is made up.

Gay boys make the best fake boyfriends.

My friend kept a picture of my friend Amy* on his desk as his "fake girlfriend" to hide that he was in a relationship with his employee.