I bet he was sssstealing sssignsss.

Shhhh... facts are hard for some people.

You’re not highlighting the most absurd part of that statement. Trump is claiming, simultaneously:

As a firearms owner and recreational shooter, these are the very people that make me most uncomfortable. Their rhetoric and unjustifiable hatred and fear are in my opinion the greatest threat to the very right to keep and bear arms that they espouse.

The animal is fine. It’ll wake up tomorrow and it’ll be like this never happened.

Soccer leagues around the world don’t have playoffs at all, and soccer is the most popular sport in the world. NASCAR needs to take the hint. The guy that wins the most, ought to be the champion. That’s as complicated as it needs to be.

Evolution is not the same thing as scientific engineering. For maximum survivability of both the individual and the species humans mutated to have an internal temperature of x and a sperm temperature of y. You see it as an unnecessary vulnerability, but the current setup was a competitive advantage at one point.

It’s worth noting that Chino Hills High School won the California State title without any of the Ball brothers.

Arrogant American does not get his way so takes his Balls and goes home.

The dong giveth and the dong taketh away.

It’s crazy that one moment we’re completely fine and the next on the brink of death and not really know why. Hope this dude is okay.

They sprung this news on LeBron in the postgame interview (which is a gross thing to do) and he choked up on live TV. Obviously Pop is loved in the NBA community and I suspect a whole lot of players knew Erin and cared about her as well. I’m sure Pop will receive an absolute outpouring of sympathy, both publicly and…

My on again/off again lady (currently off) expressed Trump support early on because he was “different than the rest and not as bad as Cruz.” I and her best friends shut that down right quick. Now she’s disgusted with Orange Julius.

You could always just grab her by the pussy then ask her how she feels about it

Oh my goodness, this is the sweetest idea.

This! We have 3 copies of my son’s favorite stuffed monkey named, aptly, “Monkey.” We swap them out at regular intervals so they all look worn, and should we ever lose one, we have 2 more as back up. (Also right now one lives at school for nap time—and our son believes that Monkey drives his own car to and from school…

Cannot express in words how sweet that is.

This was one of the first things I did after my daughter picked out her favorite stuffed animal. Bought a backup.

And buy backups. Dear god buy backups. If you lose Mr. Cuddlewumpus and search the internet and find the one place still selling them, maybe buy two and put the other in storage somewhere.

“Give the man his dinger!”