Exactly! I would've gotten married in a mall catered by Mongolian BBQ with my ex boyfriend as our server. Not exactly what dreams are made of.

DREAM WEDDING.

"Ich mache ein selfie!"

Urgh. People trying to turn names into insults (even when done in jest) makes my soul hurt.

Because Obummer. Or something.

The "hotter than Africa one" reminds me of this white teacher I used to work with who taught mostly Black kids. She would work Africa into all sorts of sentences where it didn't make sense as a reference point. Then one day she was just strait up: "I'm thinking I'm going to teach over seas in Africa. At least people…

"Have I told you the one about my penis? Oh, never mind, it's too long,"

Then, about a year ago, another commenter (who is also white) pointed something out that I hadn't considered: saying the n-word is the one thing in the world white people are specifically told we're not allowed to do, and we're really, really, REALLY bad about being told we can't do something (since we live in a…

Dear Close Friend,

When I saw the phrase "shadow wedding," here are some things I thought it might refer to before I clicked through to read this post:

It is seriously crazy. Such a waste of resources. Just too pointless and sentimental. Not good parenting . . .

Not to hate on a child but the family has asked that family members refer to her as Princess Emily. If she's not a holy terror yet, she's about to become a royal pain. ha ha, royal pain! Get it? Topical! NAILED IT.

Yes, that's all Africa needs is another white man taking his burden to show them how to farm. Because Egyptians and the Sudanese never discovered anything about agriculture before white people came along. Viva la mission civilisatrice!

right?! I barely know anything about photography and I can tell these aren't good. I've seen instagram and FB pics that look better.

The fact that he gets paid to take these blurry, no-technique, bullshit disposable-camera-looking pictures makes me want to set things on fire. Even if he wasn't a total shit as a person, he should not be employed in anything involving photography.

For everyone saying rinsing is the answer, every time you rinse you are exposing yourself to DMHO.

Hmm. Rinse out the fluoride and have a clean mouth, or don't rinse and go to work with a mouthful of foam. I'll take my chances with rinsing, thanks.