Never a bad time to remember Cardale Jones’ tweets

They should honor the original spirit of the award and all recipients should come up with an innovative way to re-take The Philippines.

This isn’t even on the same level as the Whooperito, the Whopperito looks like and tastes like mid digested food that was barfed back up in the Burger King bathroom. The Cheeto Chicken Fries are just the Chicken Fries with the ever so faint taste of Cheetos. You’ve already crossed the line by eating some poop, but now…

SPORTS REPORTERS: We’re angry that Seahawk players don’t talk to us!
RICHARD SHERMAN: Let’s talk about the racial divide in this country...
SPORTS REPORTERS: Actually, we’re angry that Seahawk players don’t talk about stupid shit to us!

This is an excellent take that will be drowned out by rocket fuel-level takes from fans and talking heads alike real soon. So I will applaud this before the avalanche of hate-fueled and/or point-missing retorts comes, in and out of the league.

I would really like to just fast forward 5 or 10 years so that I can get to the point when this shit starts being funny.

I must’ve tried this a dozen times and broke every bone in my characters body. Went to happy hour and had a few drinks... tried it again and beat it first attempt. I was shocked. Just saying...

The chorus of death screams/grunts from other people failing keeps the mostly frustrating activity of climbing that mofo pretty enjoyable.

She can’t. Well let’s say she loses her cool and does exactly that.

I’m always amazed that anybody goes to any NFL game.

Congratz ohjvo

Can’t wait for the meme he posts that simultaneously jerks off our troops, shits on the president, tells those colored folks to stop asking for welfare and somehow excuses him from bilking Maine out of $70M or so.

“Sunday’s game was a boring 3-0 shutout loss.” A true statement if you know shit about baseball. The deliverer of that shutout loss was Alex Reyes, 22 years old, the top pitching prospect in baseball, and owner of a 101mph fastball, brutal changeup, and a 1.03 ERA.

Gotta be boat party related, no?

More and more people are discovering that you can bleed your enemies to death with legal fees whether or not there’s actually merit to your case!

Hinkie had classes, but traded them for future classes and a guest speaker opportunity. He’s currently looking to swap the guest speaker slot for Starbucks gift cards and/or wi-fi passwords.

From Bungie:

I don't think it's a coincidence that private matches were added as soon as support for last gen consoles was dropped.

Fleet rig, so probably governed at 65mph. And no placards, so probably empty.

Because “Antonio Brown” has like 7 guitar solos and Josh Norman just bought his first Squier Stratocaster 16 months ago and he’s still learning his scales. He can do “Big Me” by Foo Fighters, though.