we already know what his take would be. See his bit on BUSINESSMEN from “You Are All Diseased” as well as the famous “There’s a Big Club and YOU AIN’T IN IT!” bit

That’s a small-ass hand

nothing a rope and a tree branch can’t fix

+1 would watch

...in baseball, which the game situation changes with every pitch.

:::thinks wistfully of the days when a decade-plus war with no end in sight and mounting casualties used to piss people off:::

With ‘Maverick’ and ‘The Beaver’ I wonder if Jodie’s agent just sucks or if Mel knows where she buried the bodies.

Big Corn strikes again

Like if my uncle Merle had Gene Wilder’s hair. Spooky.

2019 Miami’s opponents should have to pick 2 quarters out of the game where they are not allowed to throw forward passes.

Thaaaaaaaaat’s where we wanna goooooooooo:

I want to live in the alternate universe where Bush Jr got to be commissioner of baseball and fucked it up, and Trump got to be an NFL owner and just...fit right in.

drives a tank head-on into a flying Russian Hind assault copter

Rambo III must be so confusing to people born after 1990 who aren’t history buffs

like a rat on a sinking ship. He took Murdoch’s money before it all went to hell

“Just negotiatied 2years at $20. $10/year is too good of a deal to pass up!”

Best SNL cast member since Phil Hartman and Top 5 all-time

Napoleon and Subutai actually won significant battles though

being a Vikings fan and not being able to drink is a cruel twist of fate

Belichick strikes me as the kind of guy who will not only piss in a public shower, he will full on take a shit in the shower and mash it down the drain with his foot.