It’s way more fun to look poor and be rich than to look rich and be poor

I never truly doubted you, I just let my expectations for this world/Texas get too high for a minute there.

Not being athletic was THE WORST. Way worse than not having the right shoes!!

What the actual fuck, I had to look this up to make sure it was true and OF COURSE it is. Link below for anyone else looking to have a rage stroke!

I grew up middle class, but in the city, going to inner city schools, and my parents were, let’s call them “thrifty”. Many of the kids I went to school with were really poor, way worse off than we were, but my parents are obsessive savers, mostly because my dad grew up dirt-poor. I never wore anything but payless…

MRA=Male rights activist

SO weird that our MRA friends aren’t here, sharing in our outrage over this clear instance of an adult woman teacher raping a male student and the public not treating it as seriously as they would a female student being raped by an adult male teacher...

OH MY GOD I am also stoned and that is also how I read it

Right now the water that comes out of my tap is unbelievably disgusting. I double filter. If there's still some taste, you'll get used to it. Get over it, seriously.

best comment on this article so far by a long shot

Would give you 1000 stars for Imposter Syndrome if I could, seriously. It is the worst.

I'm working on a poster for a conference right now, and as soon as it's done this will be EXACTLY what I'll be doing. This could not have come at a better time, seriously.

I posted this yesterday on Gawker but I'll post it again here for anyone who's interested (this came out last week):

Appropriate:

I actually know a girl (well, I knew her when we were kids, but she is a fully grown adult now), who is named Porsche, as in spelled like the car, pronounced just like Portia. And for all the talk about people with so called "weird" names not being successful in life, she's got a masters degree and is doing really…

If I wasn't so grossed out by old men (and also very much in a relationship), I'd consider this shit in a heartbeat. Grad school is expensive, a girl's gotta pay back loans somehow!

I put about a quarter of bud in a jar of peanut butter once when flying from Boston to New Mexico. When I got therw, my bag had the note in it that it had been searched. Obviously I panicked, but the peanut butter and the weed were both still intact. I have never felt more confident in my life.

Pretty sure you're a terrible mom!

Ahhh at first I was like, fuck this guy, who the fuck hates on goldfish?? But then you gave me all the goldfish and now we can be friends for sure. I will eat any and all goldfish that people try to force on you.

Have you ever eaten Goldfish? Alternately, are you fucking soulless? They are basically the greatest snack of all time. And I'm an adult!