It takes a special kind of jerk to read a story about someone trying to find their stolen car, the one in which they were driven home from the hospital after being born, and berate them for the condition of the vehicle.

You know, when people protest and say that making nice clothes for fat people promotes obesity, I like to raise a point:

You have Verizon and your service sucks? Where are you...Mars?

I guess you're not a regular then: